Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
IVF has yet again been put off.
I should get used to this!
We got all our test results back. Most of them are terrific. But my FSH levels are apparently reading very high for a 33 year old..........indicating one of the following:
A) The bloodtest is wrong or a false reading.
B) My egg reserve is alarmingly low.
C) My ovaries where overstimulated during surgery mucking up my FSH reading.
The only way to conclude which scenario is right is to have a couple more FSH bloodtests (conducted on CD 2-3) in November and December. Then re-evaluate.
It means a February Cycle at best.
IVF ....Always one step ahead of us...........*Sniff*
Peter took the camera to IVF yesterday. He wanted to chronicle our trip. I am posting the photo of him after getting his good test results. Thumbs up for him. Also a picture of the gorgeous old building next to the hospital. I love it. Maybe the grey sky was an omnious warning of the crappy news we got. Regardless, I sure had fun with Peter yesterday...his wicked sense of humour really cushioned the emotional beating.
Thinking of all my Twisted Sisters......and thanking my lucky stars for your company....
Saturday, October 08, 2005
"Virgin Impregnated !"
Don't you hate those completely unexpected "Infertile Moments Pty Ltd"??
You know the kind? There you were.... minding your own barren business...and WHAAMO!
An announcement. A picture. A commercial. A baby sighting. Your period.
We've all had them. They hurt like hell. Then leave you angry and hopeless. Even dangerous.
I'll never forget one particular "Infertile Moment Pty Ltd" I had about 2 years ago in the supermarket. I was there to pick up a few "non-baby" related items.
Like dog food & tampons.
I stumbled upon a display that was to seize my lungs & heart with frightening speed & fury. There on the shelf were no fewer than 25 Pregnant Bar-bies. A whole wall of packaged smug.
Not in the toy aisle, but obscenely amongst the rice crackers and vitamins. Just suggestive selling her pregnant ass. At eye level no less.
You whore, I thought. Co-ordinated Jezabel. Coiffed Satan. (Possibly a small over-reaction).
How did you get pregnant? You're only plastic! Everyone knows with a bust, waist & hip measurements like yours you'd never ovulate let alone conceive! I was furious. Then I was terribly sad. Even Barbie can get pregnant and I can't. I shuffled home and in my bewilderment, fed my dog tampons.
I handle "Infertile Moments Pty Ltd" gallantly these days. We have to, right? It's a daily onslaught. Unless we cocooned ourselves into a box and never came out, we have to face the real world and that involves other people's pregnancies and babies.
However, I let out a miserable wail this week upon hearing Kate Holmes was pregnant.
The same Kate Holmes who proclaimed she was not having sex until she was married. The same Kate Holmes who is not married..... but strangely pregnant. Not that I would ever want to be impregnanted by Tom Cruzzz. He makes me dizzy with repulsion. And I don't care for Katie either. It's the fact that a virgin got pregnant before me/us that cuts!!
Where is the justice???!!!!!
Just laugh Mrs Negative!! Laugh & move on.
Good advice. I shall.
Moving on........the football Grand Final! Grand indeedy! What a spectacle! Sport is not my first love, heck it's not even my fifth BUT I had an absolute hoot at the game! Peter's team WON! WON! WON! VICTORY! It was Exhilerating! Joyous! Overwhelming! To be amongst thousands of screaming, excited winners is something I shall not forget. GO WESTS TIGERS!
Thank you for making my husband's eyes glisten with pride. Thank you for providing enough euphoria in his life that it prompted him to have his bloodtests completed. Thank you for taking me one step closer to having my ovaries pierced with a large needle.
I love you.