Mrs Negative

New Life.

2010-08-09T18:37:00.002+10:00

My boy fills my world with hope & happiness.
All I'll ever need.

Goodnight.

Joy. It Be Here.

2010-05-14T15:51:00.004+10:00

Long time between posts. Hello.
I do hope the world of IF is well.
I am still separated from my DH. We see each other regularly, things are looking up. I do hope to move back home soon.

In the meantime, life as a single Mum is joyous. Hard, but wonderful. Cooper is a delightful side-kick who keeps my humour buoyant.

My little pad is feeling more like a homely refuge instead of an empty, lonely villa. We do enjoy our gypsy style life. We visit family often, take long trips to the park & beach. I look forward to each day ahead with my son.
I am happy. I feel grown up, relaxed and important. Feelings I hadn't experienced for ages.
An unhappy marriage can bring such agony. Emotional & personal turmoil are no longer for me. I have taken control....a huge leap of faith...and I think my bravery is paying off.

Don't stay in an unhappy situation forever.
Take yourself a few steps outside of the darkness & marvel.
The sun, it shines, oh how.
Laughter finds you.
The respect you deserve is attainable.
Believe in your capabilities & seek contentment.
Wrap it around your shoulders never let it go.
It's advice I should have given myself a long time ago.
Take it, if you need it....or share it with someone you care about.

Lost Treasure

2010-03-14T01:38:00.004+11:00

The school fair was in full swing by the time we arrived. Somewhere in the crowd was my Brother, SIL & kids. My nephews had been long awaiting their annual funday. Cooper nearly catapulted out of his stroller at the sight of RIDES! He could barely contain himself. Try explaining to a 2 year old that you have to WAIT in line before you get to spin around on the flying chairs. He was a squealing ball of toddler.

When he finally landed a spot...it was I who became a squealing ball of Mother. Look at him go! My baby! Carnival fodder! Heellloooo!

After the ride I helped Cooper out his highly secure chair (20 cms of flimsy, lightweight chain) and handed him over the barricade to my Brother. I took all of 10 steps back around the enclosure and met with my Brother.....and where was the wee swinger Cooper? My brother shot me a "Uh-Oh" look.....looking around like a bloke who'd just been swindled. Cooper was gone.
The next 10 minutes were a haunting, flurry of mass panic & realisation. Somewhere in the moving, screaming throng was my boy. We looked high & low.
No Cooper.
I scanned the crowd.."please...please " I whispered through clenched teeth.."Let me see you"...
No Cooper.
We made our way to the Principal who clutched the all important microphone & he repeated the details:
"Attention everyone we have a lost 2 year old."
I've heard similar announcements a thousand times, but never have I described my own child's outfit for all to find.
"He has a grey t-shirt, denim shorts.."
"Nooooo!" I bellowed..."he's wearing long blue cords! And blue gum boots"
The details were corrected & I stood there desperately waiting for someone to stop my heart from exploding. LOOOKK everyone! Please, put down that sausage sandwich & look for blue gumboots!
The thoughts are irrational. Who has him? How much ground has he covered? Oh where is he? Please be safe. Please let me find him.
My mobile phone rang. He was found. The nightmare, brief, but over.
Of course he never even knew he was lost. The only thing missing to Cooper was a flimsy chain, a rickety swinging chair & the wind in his fine, blonde baby hair.

..long time

2010-03-06T15:03:00.003+11:00

...Miss me?
Just a brief drive by. I'm alive and well.
Cooper is devine. Life has been complicated of late. I have moved out. A seperation of sorts. Hope to reconcile soon. Still smiling & hopeful.

UP!

2009-12-26T02:04:00.004+11:00

..Cooper enjoying a splash with Dad on Christmas Day.

Character

2009-10-24T00:02:00.004+11:00

His little friend was sitting on the floor crying. She was in trouble for being a bit naughty. He went to her & crouched down then gave her a big embrace. She cuddled him back. I love that he has care & instinctive compassion in him. It shows me that I am raising a thoughtful little man.

I also love that I find him doing things like this.

He's definitely got some of my tomfoolery in his DNA.

And a love of headwear.

Two Up...

2009-10-17T19:10:00.002+11:00

Yes, turning 2 is a wondrous, adventurous step toward independence.
Yes, you are displaying hints of maturity.
Yes, you can blow out sparklers.

No.
You still aren't allowed to play with scissors.
Or eat dog biscuits.

Sorry 'bout that son.

The Big Game..

2009-10-11T02:21:00.010+11:00

Blue & Gold.
The colours of the Rugby League team I support.

I was born into a very fanatical "Parra Eels" loving family. As kids we were taught to say "Parra" before anything else.

There is something tribal about loving your team. When they are winning one can become insanely passionate.

When they qualify for the Grand Final for the 1st time in 23 years...well, one's head may explode from sheer delight. Last weekend I joined my family & 82,000 other spectators to cheer on our beloved Blue & Gold warhorses.

I created my very first football banner....the perfect accessory for a 37 year old woman! It was huge fun.
I kept thinking of the "Seinfeld" episode called "The Face-Painter"...Elaine's new boyfriend paints his face in team colours and she is mortified at his immaturity. What a hoot!

Here I am! Hilarious!
My Banner said "THE r'EEL d'EEL"...so smug was I with my imaginative play on words.
Sad. My team lost.
Sadder. My banner poles nearly impaled the poor lady in front of me on several occasions.
Saddest. I wasn't on the TV.
Happily... I am ready to do it all again next year!

Travel Tales

2009-10-02T23:11:00.006+10:00

We recently spent a week with my Brother & his family.

It was wonderful to experience their new lifestyle way up north. Home for them now includes wide, open grassy acres, Kookaburra's, surfboards, wandering cows and no great need for a watch. We immersed ourselves in the rural atmosphere. The ocean is close by. The night sky is dark & brilliant with stars. Cooper had a grand time with his cousins. He loved watching his Aunty & Uncle ride motorbikes. All the neighbourhood kids ride too. The flurry of action had him transfixed. He wasted no time gearing up in a helmet, boots & pants. He had found his Garden of Eden.

We miss each other alot, reconnecting with my neice & nephew was precious.

My nephew had trouble pronouncing Cooper's name when they were really little & much to our amusement he has always called Cooper "Buddy!" It's a nickname that has stuck, infact they are both referred to as "Buddy". It can be a little confusing for the boys, they don't always know which Buddy is being yelled at!

...Fashionista.

2009-09-12T10:12:00.004+10:00

He already tells me what he will & will not wear.

Unbelievable. I wasn't expecting this before his 2nd Birthday.
Acceptable items of clothing include anything with a Motorbike, Buzz Lightyear, Bulldozer or Thomas motif and/or a missing button, broken zipper, is 2 sizes too big or in the dirty clothes basket.
Unacceptable items include jumpers, jackets, overalls, anything freshly ironed or overly sensible and especially any outfit I find overwhelmingly adorable.

It should be noted that a previously unacceptable item can transform into acceptable if a Wiggles badge is attached, or if he's too transfixed by "The Muppet Movie" to notice I'm dressing him.

Thanks Kermit.

Father & Son Video

2009-09-06T08:37:00.005+10:00

...in our backyard.
Just incase anyone thought I was having a Britney Spears moment.

Sincere apologies for the shrill commentary...as if the accent required any enhancment.

Boy Zone

2009-08-21T11:31:00.003+10:00

22 months old.
I can't quite grasp the fact that another Birthday is approaching. A 2nd birthday.
How did this happen?

I still have not had that "I want another Baby" feeling.

...I dig deep down within my true feelings and keep coming up with "No. I don't want another baby"
Why does this bother me so much?

Beauty

2009-07-25T06:07:00.003+10:00

These new pictures of Cooper make my heart swell. The complete and utter innocence of childhood. OMG his face...greeting the little boy, a complete stranger yet a true friend.

...and running through seagulls at Luna Park. Too small to ride the carousel but who cares when there's feathers to chase. I can hear him squealing....or is that me?

Fiji

2009-07-24T22:25:00.005+10:00

Boo! So....we've been holidaying in Fiji.

Completely Devine...Warm, blue skies.

Huge, sparkling swimming pools.
Swaying palms....Coconuts overhead...

Deck chairs....wet hair...sand in shoes.

Island hopping...watermelon at midnight...

Splashing toddler....hammock swinging...lapping ocean waves..

No mobile phone. No car. No internet. No cooking. No schedule.
My wallet is empty but my memory bank is full!

Click

2009-05-23T00:31:00.004+10:00

Recently Cooper had the opportunity to have his photograph taken with a couple of 1st grade football players. These guys are high profile (FAMOUS even!) in Sydney. It has been a thrill for us to have the rugged brunette live next door to my Aunty for the past few years. Sadly he is moving soon. We'll miss the sight of him mowing the lawn without a shirt, jogging back from the beach still wet & glorious. Seriously, I have never seen a more handsome man in real life. He is in peak physical form. Guns like nothing else. And would you believe he is even a really lovely man? He is totally devoted to his lucky wife & kids....this makes him even more attractive!

I always get a little star struck when I see him. Despite 18 stitches in his lip I still think he looks fabulous. Cooper was totally under awed....but when he grows up I'm sure he'll appreciate these photo's. I'll tell him how 2 famous Rugby League players picked him up, said "Hello Little Mate" and smiled for his semi-delirious, flustered mother.

Royal Easter Show

2009-04-26T02:05:00.003+10:00

Sydney-siders flock to the annual Royal Easter Show.
It's the same every year. Chaos. But I love going.

The crowds, the rides, the animals, the food. Kids plan weeks in advance which showbags they want.

It's a hideous rip off in so many ways. Everything cost 4 times more than it should....but still. It's FUN. This year Cooper was big enough to enjoy the Carousel. My voice went all high pitched as I loaded him onto a prancing stallion. "Ooooohh! who's riding a horsey?!!" We waved frantically to Nanny with each passing rotation (I waved...Cooper cantered) It was completely precious. The Easter Show has a whole new level of fun for me now, through my son. Next year perhaps he'll get his face painted, feed a piglet or demand the Dora showbag. Oh, sweet childhood. Embrace the days of innocence. My 14 year old cousin proclaimed that she'd rather be dead than wear a rain poncho, despite the frequent downpours. Not that long ago she was a Carousel rider too, waving to the crowd & not the least bit concerned about how her hair or lip-gloss looked. That's what I love about growing up with the Easter Show. At first you just ride the Carosel & grip your balloon, then you progress onto obnoxious air brush tattooed teenager, then pram pushing proud parent & one day you just go to admire the pickled fruit.
The memories are worth every grossly inflated cent.

April

2009-04-19T05:55:00.002+10:00

A blog entry for April.
Lazy bones is finally walking. Teetering & flailing...collapsing onto his lounge. His preferred mode of transport is still his 3 wheeled bike. He hurtles down the hall way, taking corners like a speedway racer. He just can't operate unless he has something on his head. A hat, a headband, a bowl!
Eg:

Funny little bloke. He is completely in awe of "Toy Story"....over & over...infinity, beyond & back again. I know it word for word. My favorite line is "That's MR Potato Head to you...you back stabbing murderer"...such fun for the kiddies. Oh and when Buzz is paging Star Command & ponders out loud "Why don't they ANSWER??" It's a total crack up.."The mystic portal awaits.." Man, I need to buy "Finding Nemo"
See you in May.....and "oh...it's a Combat Carl.."

Hip Hooray

2009-03-21T23:43:00.003+11:00

I turned 37 this week. Birthdays are nice. I got spoilt. Cooper loves the Happy Birthday song. Don't all kids? Here he is singing & clapping "Hooray!"

My Mum gave me a pendant that belonged to my precious Nan. My Nan passed away when I was 14, she was exceptionally loving & adored by us all. It's lovely to wear something that once adorned her neck.
Mum also did a little photo album for Cooper. It has pictures of all his cousins, us, the dog and him. He absolutely loves it. He sits & studies each photograph before a flurry of page turning and then more careful studying. He calls his new little cousin "A Bubby"

We are going to see The Wiggles next month. I know Cooper will lose his little mind when he sees Dorothy the Dinosaur. He loves her.
My girlfriend & I are thinking about selling some of our craft at the Markets. I have been sewing alot lately. It would be a buzz to sell some of my handiwork. Here are some of the little sunhats I've made.

Zzzzzzz....

2009-02-28T13:35:00.004+11:00

Cruising in the car today I gleefully turned up the radio at the beginning of "All Out of Love" by Air Supply. Such a guilty pleasure....singing your heart out to the daggiest of tunes...You know all the words and the chorus leaves you with a ruptured vocal chord.
That's the Boogie.
After the song finished I heard a little sound coming from the back seat. It was my tiniest homie, Cooper..and he was clapping! Apparently my off-key belting rendition impressed him. Let's be honest, it's never too early to discover your Mum is a Rock Star.

I wonder who coined the phrase "Slept like a Baby..?"
It seems so contradicting. Or at least it DID. My Karitane experience has produced the most delightful, slumbering boy I've ever encountered.
Bedtime is easy. He actually waves goodnight. It is an absolute miracle. 12 hours, 11 hours...all night, every night. And I won't even bore you with the daytime napping stats. Let's just say I yawn a whole lot less these days.
Cooper, my beautiful little dude.
You are sleeping like a Baby.

Hats & Bears

2009-02-14T01:28:00.005+11:00

My son isn't a very affectionate boy. He rarely seeks cuddles or sits happily in my lap. He's far too busy.

He does however display immense love to his teddy. Both arms wrap teddy in a headlock. He spoons with Ted all night. I'm glad he has this security friend.

Similarly he will not wear a sunhat. Even for a second. BUT give him his Tonka hardhat & he puts it on his noggin for hours. He'll eat dinner with his hard hat on. He'll watch tele in his hard hat.
Tough enough for a hard hat...mushy enough for a teddy cuddle. A perfect blend for my boy.

Magic

2009-02-08T07:36:00.004+11:00

Karitane.
They came.
They saw.
They left.

...left me with a glossy pamphlet, a serious talking to and a whole new game plan. Like a shrill Supernanny episode...it is working.
My son is sleeping.
For hours upon hours.
I am completely gobsmacked. It's all so simple. Cooper goes to bed without a bottle, without his music box, without his pillow & without his on-demand Mother.
I just had to stay strong enough to let him cry it out. Scream & bellow & wail it out, actually. It wasn't easy...but it wasn't difficult either. When he woke through the 1st night I clutched my pillow, said a prayer out loud & watched the minutes of mayhem tick by on my clock. 12 long minutes passed before there was delightful silence. Each waking episode was handled the same way and 3 nights in he is sleeping 8 hours straight. I am giddy.

Alter Ego...

2009-01-25T04:16:00.003+11:00

Sweet Boy has recently introduced his alter ego to the household. Holy....he be naughty!
Tantrums! Frequently!
Whining! Often!
Maybe it's teething.
Maybe he's exploring new boundaries.
Maybe he's just a tiny monster!

I have finally sought help for his constant night waking. We have a Karitane home assessment booked early next month. Cooper wakes on average 4 times a night. I haven't had a full night's sleep in 15 months & it's finally taking it's toll.
Bedtime is a battle. He cries & cries, standing up in his cot wailing until he vomits! I couldn't count how many hours I've spent on my hands & knees cleaning up cranky baby vomit. Little bugger!
I hope the Karitane co-ordinator knows what she's in for! Hee!

Other news includes the arrival of a precious new niece! My SIL was taken to the hospital in a flurry of super speedy contractions & before we could even gather our thoughts my brother was calling to declare little Ella had arrived! "She's adorable.." he told me. I scared Cooper with my excited high pitched squeals! Another little girl to sew for...and I wasted no time revving up the Pfaff!

Ding Ding!

2009-01-11T22:15:00.003+11:00

Oh Son.
Was there ever a cuter bicycle passenger? Ever?
We'll ride. Lots, you & I. Mama will stop every now & then to make sure you're secure...and to rest her screaming thigh muscles. You'll point to helicopters. And Cockatoo's. And I'll do my best to keep my slacks from getting caught up in the chain.
Loving you is the most exhilarating journey I've ever pedalled through. Even uphill.

2009

2009-01-01T02:00:00.006+11:00

I was watching an old Elton John video clip last week. I looked at his bald head & the gap between his front teeth.
He reminded me of someone. He seemed so familiar. Behold! A miniature Elton!

Christmas was very civilised. Cooper was not spoiled in the slightest.

We took the Winniebago down south for 5 days. Heavenly! He had his 1st frolic in the Ocean. Much-o fun-o. He crashed off beds, tumbled through doorways & bumped his head in 17 different ways. Grazed & bruised, he looks more like a street thug with each passing hour.

Learning to walk can be a very dangerous pass time. Daddy gave him a little pep talk...if you think walking is hazardous, Son...just wait until you start shaving.
Happy New Year everyone!

Shady

2008-12-21T03:43:00.003+11:00

He is learning so many little things. He knows that a hat goes on his head. He knows that the toothpaste goes on the toothbrush...and the toothbrush goes in his mouth. He knows that the doorbell means "Quick! Someone is here! Go to the door!"
And he knows that his new sunglasses will entertain all that see him...and that he looks pretty damn cool.

Him Swim.

2008-12-07T02:33:00.004+11:00

We went to the pools last week. A fabulous Aquatic Centre in Sydney. Cooper had never been in a pool before, despite owning every inflatable devise available & numerous lycra shorties. When I saw all the H2O fun on offer I immediately morphed into a 12 year old. "Oh My God!" I squealed to my 6 year old nephew..."There's a WATER-SLIDE!!"

I felt horribly self conscious in my One Piece. I draped Cooper & his floating chair strategically across my torso & waded into the chaos. My little duck wasted no time. He was buoyant & kicking within moments. I was the proudest Mummy. Cooper fluttered wet eyelashes & bared every one of his 8 teeth, a fixed grin that could not be dimmed. We moved over to the rapids & whizzed round, round, round. The heaving throng of fellow floaters did not rattle him. Splashing waves rolled over his face.
He. Loved. It.
We stayed in the water until we were wrinkled.
I took the bigger kids on the water-slide, barrelling through the green tube. I thundered out the end with a huge splash. Water up my nose, hair in my mouth & lycra up my bum cheeks.
I swaggered out of pool, wedgie on display. Nobody took any notice of me. Apparently my giant arse was the least interesting item in the Aquatic Centre.
And that, my dear friends....was fine with me.

Watch This..

2008-11-23T01:45:00.005+11:00

I know it is widely frowned upon.
Parking the baby in front of the television.

I do not frown. If the Nick Jnr channel is considered my saving grace, then The Wiggles are officially the 8th wonder of my domestic world. Cooper sits transfixed for the entire dvd performance while I do all my morning chores. The songs...oh my lord they be catchy. I find myself belting out certain songs in the car, in the supermarket...checking the letterbox.
I ask Cooper "Can you point your fingers & do the twist?"
He can't.
But I, on the other hand certainly can! Look at me go! Pointy, pointy, pointy!!
Thank you Wiggles. The washing is done, the kitchen is orderly & my hair has been combed. I'll see you again around 5.30pm. You can bewitch the babe while I peel potatoes and stir the dinner pot.

Sleepover

2008-11-16T05:29:00.005+11:00

We attended a friend's Wedding yesterday. It was entirely elegant.

The reception was held in the shadow of Sydney's Harbour Bridge. My home city is breath-taking, there's no denying it. For me it was an opportunity to get my hair done, frock up, drink champagne & dance myself into a sweaty heap.

Cooper spent the night at his Aunty's. It is the longest separation we've had. I tried not to fret. I hoped that he was being a good boy. I knew he wouldn't miss us. He is besotted with his cousins.
Still.
I pined a little for my boy. I was delighted to receive text message updates throughout the night.

Photo's of him eating his dinner & splishing in the bath. It eased my mind enough to eat 2 desserts, join a raucous conga line....and enjoy just one more glass of champers.
Cha-cha-cha

Sewing

2008-11-09T01:59:00.002+11:00

A cheeky boy looking at himself in the mirror. See? I told you that you're gorgeous!

I love sewing. Here is my latest project for Cooper. Shoes, belt & bib. They turned out cute. He'll wear them tomorrow when we have a family portrait taken.

Waiting For Dada..

2008-11-02T00:35:00.003+11:00

In the afternoons we wait for Daddy to come home from work. The dog, the child & the wife keep our 6 ears peeled for his familiar V8 engine to pull into the carport. Sometimes I let Cooper watch the afternoon traffic creep down our street. The shops & school nearby guarantee a steady stream of people to study. Bicycles, skateboards, pedestrians & leashed dogs keep him fascinated.
He's an appalling busybody. His brow is often furrowed.

He is well known for his serious facial expressions. Particularly when modelling one of my special Origami Catalogue Hats.

I totally dig how kids love other kids. Cooper has a completely different demeanour around other children. His guard is down. His spirit beams. He befriends other children in a blink. Adults require alot more sussing out & studying before he'll even think about a smile. I love that about little babes. Gorgeous creatures!

One Up

2008-10-25T21:47:00.008+11:00

The Birthday Party was a riot! Cooper was enthralled with all the activity. Our loungeroom was full of presents, Cooper made a funny little "fffff" sound everytime he saw all the boxes. He stands up in his cot now. It is so amusing to greet each other eye to eye. He loves Dora. Alot.
Cooper has new tricks everyday. Clapping, dancing, waving, rousing on the dog & proclaiming "Uh-uh" before he does something mischievous. He uses little pincer fingers to place food into his mouth, trying whatever I offer. I love this age. He's my companion. My little friend. There's so much more interaction with a toddler. He says "Dad Dad Dad".....my husband asks him "Who's better Mum or Dad?" and of course Cooper knows only one answer "Dad!" Just wait until he can say "Mummy". For now I am referred to as "La" He bellows from the next room for me "L-aa! La!" He loves looking at photo's of himself. His nose crinkles & a toothy grin of recognition spreads across his face. "Who's that?" I ask. He knows darn well, La, that's Cooper.
Cooper plays the xylophone! One of his many lovely Birthday presents. He puts a toy phone to his ear, mimicking my actions. Ahhh, I just can't get enough of my busy boy.

Who's 1?

2008-10-11T22:33:00.005+11:00

He'll be One on Friday.

Oh darling, beautiful boy!

You will have a party. Yes sir'ee!
A big celebration next weekend with a very silly amount of guests. You will have a Jumping Castle and a wonderful Pirate Ship cake. The Big Red Fire Engine will come and take all your friends riding on the back. A real Fire Engine! The bells & sirens will be blazing just for you.

You'll see helium balloons & eat Jelly! There's Pass the Parcel too! You have a very cool outfit & new sandals to wear. The sandals! Oh My! They are nearly as adorable as you! You can show everyone how you clap hands! You can grin your best 3-tooth smile and we'll sing. Happy Birthday you jolly good fellow.
You have given me the best year of my life. I hope yours has been just as grand.

Chomp.

2008-09-14T02:32:00.004+10:00

Pass the floss! He has a tooth! I have felt it more times than I've seen it. He's not one to show off his sharp, new chomper. I've managed to show a few people...after much head wrangling & dribbly fury. "A Toothy Peg!" said his Nanny. That made me giggle.

Cooper caught up with his cousins this week. He was feeling the love. The eldest one told Cooper he has a big head. The littlest one is completely enamoured with Cooper. Jett rushes to greet him, swooping in with "Awww!" & "Ohhhh!"...a bear hug is quickly established. Baby arms are wrapped around each other. Jett lays his head down on Cooper's chest, this is followed by a round of open mouthed kisses, planted wherever he can lay one. Cooper always looks a little startled but nothing deters Jett. It is the most gorgeous display of affection! Our laughter fills the room. I love my family! My heart soars when I think of the friendship these 2 little boys will share. Mates for life.

Ouch.

2008-09-07T01:05:00.005+10:00

It happened.
Something I've been dreading.
Cooper had his first accident. Entirely my fault....a factor that made it all the more traumatic. I left him in his walker while I got dressed, foolish moron that I am.
He ventured on over to the gas HEATER....Oh My God. The scream hit me like a 1000 wild horses. The blood drained from my face as I sprinted to the lounge room. I knew right away. He was sitting right in front of the grille. Both his little hands were raised up, his face, oh man...he was screaming so much, he wasn't breathing.
I felt sick. I remember panicking, terribly. I whipped him out of the walker. I was saying "No! No! Nooooo!" I couldn't see where he was burnt... oh, mercy...there on his thumb & pointer finger! White hot marks! They progressed to blisters very quickly. I was lost in a whirlwind of worry, regret and awful guilt.
For about 2 hours he cried. Of course he did! My poor little baby! When he finally succumbed to his morning sleep I felt so relieved.
I sat on the lounge and bawled. Big heaving sobs! I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid. It could have been so much worse! The "what if's..." raced through my head. I rang my Mum. "Don't be too hard on yourself" she said sweetly. "He'll be alright, these things happen".
Yes, these things do happen! But it will never happen again!
I learnt my lesson at Cooper's expense. Now he looks at the heater with wide eyes. I shake my finger at the heater and say "Ouch. Hot. Uh-uh." He listens. And so do I. I know the months and years ahead will be filled with bumps, scratches & bruises. He's an inch from danger most of the day. Putting things in his mouth, rolling into furniture and pulling things off shelves (including a huge terracotta pot he lugged into his walker this week!)
It's all a part of growing and learning for Cooper. And it's all a part of being a Mummy for me. Let me soothe any hurt with cuddles and loving kisses. Here I am to dry the tears.
His and mine alike.

Video Test!

2008-08-24T01:20:00.003+10:00

After much Effing around....I think I worked out how to put a video on my blog! It's just a test....check out Peter & Cooper in "The Bunker"...and LOOK! There's a quick glimpse of my drumkit in the background!
Cooper likes to look at the baby in the camera...I wonder if he knows it's him?

Cooper Hi-Kix to feature SOON....

Touching Base.

2008-08-23T21:52:00.005+10:00

Hello Blog. I do neglect thee, huh? The reason I do not post often is because...well...my life outside the computer is kinda wonderful.
It's just not "Terribly-Exciting-Blogging-Fodder"....say that 5 times fast, sheesh.
I have become, well quite frankly...Mundane. My days are a fragile balance of laziness & contentment and it's a mix I find sublime.
Speaking of sublime.... Check it, Pilgrims.

Cooper is a Grumpy Bear. A Chinky, Chunky Bear. (That's my latest silly song) We are still waiting patiently for his teeth & hair to arrive. He loves to hold onto my hands & walk. Tippy tapping baby steps. Each stride involves a little high kick, much like a goosestep. I find this activity so completely hysterical. I nearly double over and crush his little socked trotters.
Hmmm....I think I may have just thought of my next blog post. A video perhaps? Starring the one & only "Cooper Hi-Kix"? Maybe...if I can work out how to post a video. Topcat? Did you learn how to do it yet?

Hey! Thanks to "Suzie" who left a lovely comment. I have a new reader! Shizzah!

Cooper Wiggle

2008-08-17T11:58:00.003+10:00

We went to the new Wiggles Play Centre. A warehouse full of inflatable Wiggly fun. Surely Cooper would be too young to appreciate the frivolity? Nay. His legs began kicking upon entry & continued to pump merrily for the next 3 hours. He did jig on a giant air filled platform. He did frolic amongst the plastic ball bin. He did swing his arms when Dorothy entered the room & he huffed and rasp berried his way through "Rock-a-bye your Bear."
I chased my niece up a giant ladder & grabbed her as she hurtled down a slide. A little girl tapped me on the shoulder and said "Excuse me, parents are not allowed on the rides..." I was a little taken back that she assumed I was a Parent? Me? Ha! I apologised & told her I was just helping my niece not to break her wee neck.
Cooper sat in a carousel & whizzed around unaided. His hands clamped firmly to a steering wheel, turning this way & that. I looked to my Mum and said (inappropriately) "Holy Effing Wiggle."
"He's Driving"

Blue or Lamb..

2008-08-03T06:24:00.005+10:00

I cleared out his wardrobe. He has outgrown 40 percent of his clothes. I am handing down lots of outfits to my girlfriend who has a brand new bub. I have a stack of things for the
charity bin. And then there's the 20 or so outfits I just can't part with.
Eg: The shirt & short combo he wore home from the hospital.
Size 00000.

I remember the day he was discharged from the NICU. I could not wait to dress him in normal clothes. It was such a thrill. I recall my woe when the nurses told me he'd need a bath & check up before we went home. I had to strip him promptly...fearing that we'd never, ever escape that damn NICU.
All of a sudden Cooper seems too grown up to wear cutsie clothes. He would feel silly in a teddy bear t-shirt or rabbit onesie. He's all cargo pants & hoodies. Jeans & polo's.
I keep playing the scene from "Look Who's Talking?" in my head. The part where Molly asks Mikey if he wants to wear 'The Blue or the Lamb?" and Mikey says "They both look pretty lame! Don't make me wear clothes with animals on them! I look like a retard!"
Don't worry son, the very worst you can expect is knitwear.
You know I am a complete sucker for a hand knitted cardigan or pullover. I know you'll look back at your baby photo's and groan at the clothes I made you wear. We all do that. We all ask our Mother's if they were insane to dress us like that. And take us out in public.
It's just that you do the preppy look so well.

Suave. Funky. Downright respectable.
And look....there's not a lamb in sight.

Baby Talk

2008-07-24T09:38:00.007+10:00

My vocabulary has expanded since Cooper graced our world. I say "Gah-Ding-Kah!" in an animated voice to him at least 1000 times a day.

It's a silly new word. It means "Well hello there!"
It can also mean "Here's your favourite toy!" or "Come cuddle me!"
GAH-DING-KAH!
I mentioned to my husband that I should stop saying "Gah-Ding-Kah!" because it's sort of irritating & to be honest, completely non educational.
Peter sympathised and said he feels the same way about his new word, being "Whooosh-kah!"....which means "I'm gonna throw you up in ther air!" or "I'll race you to the door!" or "I love you IMMENSELY!" in baby talk.

Cooper has Hives. Damn Hives! Wha?
Gah. Gah. Gah-ding-kah.
He must be allergic to something new in his diet.
Guess I'll have to stop tossing cashews and pistachio's at him to catch in his mouth.
And he was getting soooo good at it too.

Walker

2008-07-20T12:58:00.003+10:00

And he's off......
Our predominately tiled house is the equivalent of Baby Walker Expressway. He glides hither. Bumping into closed doors before reversing himself & launching into a pacey walk. He grabs keys, opens drawers & pulls the garbage bin. I say "No!" and "Uh Uh"...which he translates into "Try Harder". He is constantly drawn to the hallway where he sprints towards the brown sticker wall art. And there he sits. Gazing up in wonder. Like a pilgrim at the alter.
So much to see when you're 9 months old.

Image

2008-07-04T19:12:00.003+10:00

"...Gosh, he's like you..." says the lady in the supermarket.
"I can see his Dad!!" says our neighbour.
"Who's he like..??" says the 11th person, that day.

I hate to admit it. But it seems my husband & I have an unspoken competition regarding who Cooper most resembles. We take smug, silent joy whenever someone announces Cooper looks like "me" or "him".
"...Really? You think so..?" I swoon, when I'm told he looks like me. (Heh..2 points to Mum)
"I used to do that" says my husband whenever Cooper farts, squeals or strikes a pose.
We have dusted off the archives, finding our own baby photo's to prove once and for all who he takes after.
Seems it's a bit of Dad..and a bit of Mum. Go figure? The best part was looking at old photo's and laughing at the tiny people we once were.
Here I am. Eeeeeking at my chubby friend for cramping my style.

Cooper hasn't inherited my anti-social skills. Or my enormously cute ears.
Maybe he is like his Dad. Or maybe Cooper hasn't spent enough time on rugs with Chubby Punks to say for sure.

My Pretty

2008-06-27T12:25:00.003+10:00

He is in love. With the remote control.

It is a forbidden love. He is not allowed to touch it...which just makes his infatuation all the more fierce. No matter how many other fun, shiny rattles & plush, crinkly stuffed animals I offer him, he has eyes only for the remote control.
"I want THAT one..." his starring eyes command.
Sorry Bub.
You can drool on my face, on the carpet & even on the dog. But you cannot drool on a battery operated remote. Mummy needs her Foxtel.
And get your eyes off my mobile phone too!
I am also amazed how babies find the "Tag" on all clothes, bibs & toys....little fingers sourcing the shiny, smooth tag to be sucked & stroked. Over & over again. Some of Cooper's favourite toys are based solely on how many tags they have. This picture shows him holding a stuffed Caterpillar which has 18 fun fuzzy feet to fondle...but he's gone straight for the tag. Anyone else notice this?

Shopper!

2008-06-08T00:56:00.006+10:00

Cooper had his first ride in a shopping trolley recently. Here he is, sitting up like a seasoned professional.

The sight of him perched up there had me bellowing with laughter! I was completely doubled over. The way he instinctively knew how to hold on made me roar even louder. In fact, all my squealing and clapping caused such a commotion that fellow shoppers were stopping and turning to look at us.
"It's his maiden voyage.." I quickly explained, composing myself. He swung his little feet back and forth.
He remained poker faced. He casually observed all the wares.

Thoroughly enjoying the view from his high vantage point. People stopped to say hello to him. I beamed from behind the washed potatoes.
Hysterical, I tell you!
Such little things are a complete joy to experience.
My baby.
Shopping!
Priceless!

Myself

2008-05-24T23:17:00.004+10:00

What about another baby?
I know that life after infertility can still be a rocky road.
Many of us ponder the possibility of another child. A sibling for our miracle babies. Dare we dream?

Of course we dream. But for me personally, I think my IVF journey has finished. I always told myself that I would be happy with one child. Understatement. I would be completely, totally content with one child. If I could get one. I still feel that way. And for that I am thankful. The pain, longing & sadness of IF has disappeared from my life. It's a memory buried deep within.
A scar that's faded almost entirely. If we had frozen embryo's left over perhaps I would feel differently. I'm sure I would. Who knows if my desire for another child will surface again in the coming years? I suppose that bridge will be crossed if & when. For now, I cherish every second of my new life. Free from the harrowing, consuming hurt that IF brings.
I am "me" again.
I longed for "me" so often during our struggle. The carefree girl I was. Lost amid the brutal sadness.
A baby introduces so many things. Most importantly, it re-introduces you to yourself.
Hello Mony.
I missed you. Welcome back.

Stay right here, in this wonderful life of ours & long no more.

Sun & Sand

2008-05-09T18:37:00.008+10:00

It is quite a blessing when your relatives have the marvellous idea of building their home on the beachfront. It's a bigger blessing when those relatives throw open the doors & welcome visitors to stay for a day, a night, or a couple of both. Imagine waking up to this everyday.

It's truly beautiful. We just spent 2 lovely days at my Aunty & Uncle's house playing on the sand, eating & relaxing.

I am pinching myself...and occasionally those cheeks.

Jolly

2008-05-04T19:06:00.005+10:00

A recent purchase, a "Jolly Jumper" has been worth every cent. It is Jolly for the participant and any onlookers!

Watching him bo-ing & bounce & leap is by far the most hilarious thing I've witnessed in a long time.
And he loves it!
He also had his 6 month needles which was traumatic for both of us! He was so cute beforehand, tugging on the Doctor's stethoscope & cooing. Even Doc said "You're breaking my heart!"
Cooper & I go to work for Daddy on Friday's. The office has room for his cot & toys etc, so it's quite manageable to take him along.

He gets to see Daddy at work too, which is nice for both my boys!
It's my 3 year anniversary for Mrs Negative. 3 years! Thanks for sticking around!

Trio of Devine

2008-04-24T20:01:00.006+10:00

My Aunty sent through some lovely pictures of Cooper & his cousins today.
For the love of God, forgive me for bombarding you with so many pictures of my son.....but seriously! They are begging to be shared!
Cooper at his 1st Easter Show.

And here is my nephew. OMG! Love him!

...and my niece. Hiding her dimples, but still!

My 2 beautiful brother's & I all welcomed new babes in 2007.
These 3 will share so many milestones & experiences. Including being ridiculously beautiful!
It's almost too much to stand!
Blessed, blessed are we!

Shy Boy

2008-04-23T15:33:00.002+10:00

I know a stage of shyness is common with babies so I'm not too concerned with Cooper's recent new quirk.
He bawls whenever someone tries to say hello to him.
We go to the local shop everyday.
He used to love it. Now, I have to load him up with distracting rattles & soft toys to play with because without fail someone will greet him & he totally looses his shit! He even gets a little shy when his Nanny comes over. But I do love when he turns his little face away & buries it into Mum's shoulder.
He knows, even at 6 months that there's no safer place than in my arms.

My World

2008-04-12T23:04:00.004+10:00

My boy.

Look at you in your big boy outfit!
How delicious can a babe be?

How lucky, lucky, lucky am I to have you in my world?
You are the most fabulous, incredible encounter I have ever experienced.
I love you so much, more than I can fathom.
My heart beats for you.
A million times per minute.

Bookworm

2008-04-05T09:04:00.002+11:00

During our infertility struggle I read hundreds of articles, studies, blogs & books to learn more about our situation. I scoured the internet & like most of us, became an unwitting authority on IF. When we became pregnant I did the same, read, read, read. Why oh why did I not continue that path once Cooper arrived? Since my last post I have filled my head with so much baby info through the books "Babywise" & "Baby Love" and what do you know? I'm LEARNING stuff!
Our sleep situation is improving everyday. I know lots more about poo, or lack of, about red cheeks & tongue poking & cracked ears! Fascinating stuff!
Read, kids.
Books are for nerds.
And nerds are resoundingly more well rested.

Sleep, not.

2008-03-28T18:51:00.006+11:00

Oh, Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.

Shall we come clean and tell the internets that although you are indeed, beautiful...you are a turd when it comes to sleeping?
Will you not nap for an hour?
There's a good boy.
How about 35 minutes? No? Won't you even consider it? No? Absolutely not. If daytime sleeping is not your thing then will you not revel in the delicious-ness of a full night's sleep?
Would you let me tell you again how grand it would be for us both if you ditched the 3 hourly wail/feed-a-thon?
Shall I remind you that there's nothing to see at 3.00am except a shift worker returning home or bad info-mercials?
Why must you insist on exploring 3.00am?
Ditto 4.15am.
5.00am is no more exciting.
Believe me, I've been there plenty & it's a cold, desperate place.
Even with a hotdog.
Why do you wake? Is the soft glow of your night light too infuriating? Is your snuggle bed too cosy? Are your crisp sheets too comfortable? Is the lull of your music box too much to bear?
Come now child. You are 5 months old now. Surely big enough to shut-eye a full 10 hours?

Sigh. I'm not perfect, he's not perfect either (damn close) I am reading a self help book about crying/sleeping etc. We are both learning lots. Mostly techniques that bring us both to tears. There is still a long way to go. I know we can conquer this Cooper! Now stop roaring. Mummy's reading Chapter's 7 & 8...again. This time with her gritty eyes propped open with matchsticks.

Blown

2008-03-21T12:39:00.005+11:00

I blew out 36 Birthday candles yesterday. I don't mind getting older. I guess I still feel very young, well let's face it, 36 is hardly ancient! My birthday was lovely, it included a WRAPPED present from Peter..very rare! I had lunch & dinner with family and I got a "Mum Mug" from Cooper that say's "I Love You Mum!" how sweet!
Happy Easter everyone! Here is a picture of my little egg head. The raspberry blowing 5 month old. OMG he is so delicious, he blows raspberries constantly, even from behind his dummy & bottle....it is an absolute hoot!
Thank you to everyone who comments on how beautiful my son is! I just love to hear that you all think he's as gorgeous as I do!

Crackers.

2008-03-16T15:34:00.004+11:00

Christmas 1977, Santa bought me an Anne Murray cassette called "There's A Hippo In The Bathtub". I adored every song on it & remember belting out the words to "Animal Crackers" and "Teddy Bear's Picnic" with sheer glee. I found it in a drawer the other day & have been playing it for Cooper. It's still fun to listen to 31 years later. My duets with Anne are proving marvellous for lulling Cooper off for his daytime naps. Unfortunately, some of the sweet lullaby's make me sooooo damn emotional! Cradling my beautiful, tired boy...I end up bawling through the chorus of "Sleepy Time Baby" and ruining the tranquility.

Mental note to self: Rocking your son to sleep is more successful if he doesn't have fat, wet, sooky Mama tears splashing onto his cheeks!

Miss M

2008-03-09T23:22:00.006+11:00

Check out my niece. OMG. I love her! This kid has spunk. Her hairdo is very fitting of her personality. A wee bit wild.

Belonging.

2008-03-01T22:43:00.003+11:00

I can't quite explain how it feels to finally be a mother. Even to myself. It's so much broader than I ever imagined. Of course, I knew that being a mother meant having a child, but I never thought about all the...moments. The hundreds of tiny moments that combine together and create a day. Wiping his face. Putting on socks. Bathing him, clinging onto slippery arms as he thrashes, splashing suds into his own face. Announcing to no-one in particular "Oh, he's tired" or assuring Cooper that "I'm coming, just a minute" as he bellows from his crib.
I feel more important than ever before.
I feel more normal than ever before.
I feel like I finally belong.
And it is a feeling renewed everyday.

Not to everyone's taste.

2008-02-22T19:25:00.004+11:00

When we visit my MIL at the nursing home, Cooper brings her great joy. Her 2 strokes have left her blind & mostly immobile. It's almost spiritual the way Cooper lays in her arms, completely still & unfussy for long stretches of time. She caresses his toes & kisses his head while murmuring baby talk. It's very therapeutic for her & brings great comfort to my husband. Cooper also proves very popular with the staff & other residents. Pushing him through the corridors little old men & women peer out of doorways & echo "Oh! A Baby! A wee baby! Hello!" We often stop to chat. Nursing homes can be so bloody depressing so it's nice to be able to brighten their day somewhat.
Tonight in his pram we passed a crooked old woman on her way back from dinner. She stopped her walking trolley & asked "Is that a boy or a girl?" I told her that his name was Cooper and that he was a boy.
"What's his name?" she asked.
"Cooper" I said, a little louder.
"What's his name?" she repeated.
"COOPER.." I said again, louder.
"Cooper?!' she scoffed. "Aww no..what did you call him that for??"
She shuffled on shaking her head. I heard her add "...he could do with some hair".

Ha! Ha! It was insanely funny. How could I be offended by such a crotchety old biddy? I may well have been her only conversation for the day! Bless her scattered cotton socks.

Tuesday

2008-02-19T14:51:00.003+11:00

I'll just keep posting pictures...it's easier than trying to think of any words!

Sit.

2008-02-15T23:58:00.007+11:00

Cooper tries to sit up at every given opportunity. He brings his head forward, bends at the waist & struggles into some hilarious positions.
Here he is perched in the corner of the lounge. Not content to admire his beloved "Frog-Frog"...he puts a plan into action.

"If I bend a little this way.." he thought

"I'll REALLY be sitting up.....whoa, hang on..!

His plan went to hell. He ended up face down, tears of frustration.
I had tears too....from laughter!

Hot stuff

2008-02-09T17:21:00.000+11:00

With the mild, rainy weather of late I went a little crazy over-dressing Cooper.

You see, he has the most adorable range of hats that as soon as a grey cloud appears I am rummaging through the headwear mostly for my own guilty pleasure....so off we went to the shops in full hat regalia, cute yes but not practical and now he has a heat rash.
So it's hats off for Cooper.
And a lesson learnt for Mother.

Do's and Don'ts with Baby

2008-02-05T11:06:00.000+11:00

My cousin recently emailed me some very practical & helpful tips on baby rearing.
Hee!

Grin

2008-01-25T11:51:00.000+11:00

Being 2 months premmie, Cooper is a little behind the 8 ball with development milestones. We have been itching for his 1st real smile and yesterday, he delivered.
A crooked little grin followed by a happy shreik.
My heart soared.

Capturing it on film will be tricky, so you'll have to take my word for it....a grinning Cooper is absolutely delicious.

Out of Africa.

2008-01-19T21:36:00.000+11:00

Staring into Cooper's wardrobe makes me giddy. The array of cuteness is astounding. Choosing his next outfit is a simple thrill I never tire of. Today I put a cardigan & hat on him. I very nearly wet my pants. My raucous laughter bought Peter from the yard & even he smirked.
However, the baby fashion industry decided that most boy outfits should include a motif...of a wild animal.
Dangerous animals.
Like a Hippo, Bear or Lion.
Cooper has bibs, cot sheets, socks, onesie's & a pram liner that feature frolicking man eaters. Fun!
But most frequently the motif is a Giraffe. Wha?
Yes, a Giraffe. I mean, what say's "I'm a BOY!" more eloquently than a long necked, black tongued Giraffe?

And my personal favourite?

Why it's a Giraffe giving a big old Lion a trolley ride. Hi y'all!
Just like in the Savannah.

Summer Holiday

2008-01-12T20:32:00.000+11:00

It could have been a disaster. Taking a 12 week old baby on a long distance holiday. I'm glad to report it wasn't. Cooper travelled 6 hours in the Winnebago to a south coast town called Bermagui, sleeping all the way & beginning his first real Summer vacation. Bliss, I say.

He went to the beach. He went to lawn bowls & the pub for lunch. He watched fresh fish that Daddy caught sizzle on the BBQ. He got lathered in sunscreen. He wore his sun hat.

He lazed in Daddy's arms in his nappy...watching the tree's sway & kookaburra's laugh.

He encountered flies & mosquitoes & his first huntsman spider (which had taken up residence in his pram) but Mummy bravely fended all the nasties off.

And even though we were a long way from home, he got Milk.

What a lovely time. Well done little Aussie.

Good Mum

2008-01-03T09:54:00.000+11:00

At 35 years of age I still need my Mum.

I do find it hard to ask for help, so luckily my Mum gives help frequently, efficiently & without being asked. She is a devoted Nanny to her 5 grandchildren & very present in all their lives.

....however she selfishily took herself away on holidays & I'm feeling the heat without her.
Cooper, the crankiest duck, had me completely worn out last week. After many sleepless, fussy hours & at my wits end I packed the car, strapped in the child & drove to Nanny's holiday haven, about 90 minutes away.
On arrival, she took Cooper & sent me to bed....I slept for 9 precious hours & felt like a new woman! I headed home the next morning, refreshed & ever grateful to my darling, wonderful Ma.
Let's hope she doesn't take her next vacation overseas.

We Heart Cooper..

2007-12-30T01:07:00.000+11:00

Oh child.

Seriously, your father & I are utterly smitten. Never in our wildest dreams could we have imagined a more divine creature, a more noisy, cranky, adorable babe than you. You completely govern our every move. Our eyes are tired, gritty slits. Our teeth unbrushed. Your mother has worn the same damn dress for 4 days in a row, only eliminating her bra because face it, you don't give a hoot about unsupported breasts.
Like the finest German engineered clock you rouse every 3 hours & deliver a deafening bellow from your cot. You are famished. Never was there a hungrier baby. I stagger to the kitchen in the wee hours with you perched upon my shoulder. Your breath a chorus of precious rhythmic squeaks in my ear. You grow more alert with each passing minute. Blue eyes scan the ceiling, admiring every shadow. Window fixtures have you enraptured as do lamps & finger clicking. You detest bibs. And baths. And lotion rubbed into your exquisite cheeks. You shriek during nappy changes but adore pram rides...especially to the local grocery store. You suck furiously on your dummy while revering the mirrored dairy cabinet...and I never enjoyed the chilled aisle so much in my life.

..Wishes

2007-12-26T10:50:00.000+11:00

I hope everybody had a "Beary Merry Christmas"

Monkey

2007-12-23T10:38:00.000+11:00

...pssst..primate...there's only room for one small, soft, cute individual in this house & I got it covered.

Righto

2007-12-20T10:15:00.001+11:00

I believe you, son.
I'm certain Mr Claus does too.
Rudolph, however may be skeptical.

Carols

2007-12-18T09:19:00.000+11:00

I busted my husband singing Christmas Carols to Cooper. "On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....2 purple ducks...!"
Sounds more fun than 2 turtle doves, for sure!

Things I've Learnt...

2007-12-16T15:02:00.000+11:00

1. You can't have too many bibs.
2. You can't have too many singlets.
3. You can be awake midnight-3am & still love 'em.

Due!

2007-12-12T16:55:00.000+11:00

Happy due date, Cooper!
In retrospect, I'm glad he arrived early....I'm happier blogging than being in labour!
2 months old today. It's flown.

Smile

2007-12-10T11:13:00.000+11:00

He makes a series of faces after his bottle. The sad lip. The tongue poke. The pursed lips. And my favourite, the little smile.

Oh

2007-12-05T16:09:00.000+11:00

I have slipped into Motherville. I am wearing tracksuit pants, no make-up & baby vomit. I love it.
This afternoon I put Cooper into his cot for a nap, I turned on his little firefly night lights & cranked up his melody box...leaving him to drift off as he has been doing so nicely. About 30 minutes later I checked on him, the silence telling me he was sound asleep...only to discover him wide wake, laying there mesmerised by the lights & happily enjoying his own company. Sigh. What a good, well behaved little boy!

Weigh In.

2007-11-29T14:36:00.001+11:00

The home nurse came & weighed Cooper. He is now 2.5 kilo's (5.5 pounds)and is sporting a double chin.

The 3 hourly feeds are pretty crazy. Especially the night ones. Oh the weariness! Cooper wakes & screams like he is being prodded with a hot poker. Until I pick him up. Then I change his nappy and he screams like I am breaking his legs. Until he is picked up. As I prepare his bottle he screams like he is being made to watch "Dynasty" re-runs. Until I put the milk to his lips. Then the fussing ceases & he declares all is well in the world.
It is strangely amusing to watch a little boy have a major blow up.....and then calm down in an instant.

Spoilt?....Possibly!
Adorable?...Absolutely!

Tidbits.

2007-11-25T06:14:00.000+11:00

Our dog, Janis has taken to her new house mate with indifference. This is a great relief. She has been our spoilt "baby" for 7 years.....thoroughly ruined in every way. I feared she would display jealously toward Cooper & struggle with her new life as a (shhhh) D-O-G. Unfortunately for Cooper, I have spent the last 7 years saying "Good Girl" to the mutt & this seems to be a difficult phrase to give up. If Cooper burps, I automatically say "Good Girl!" If he co-operates during a nappy change I coo "Good Girl!".....much to my husband's horror!

I took Cooper to the shops in his fancy stroller. I love pushing him around. I am hopeless at manoeuvring though. I think I ran over about 15 sets of toes. Oops.

...Cooper & I also watched "Footloose" through the week. Oh My God. How much do I love that movie? We particularly liked the closing credits..."Let's Hear It For The Boy" was the song playing and I jigged around holding Cooper. It wasn't until I sang the line "Let's hear it for my baby".....that I began to bawl my eyes out.
It's still overwhelming.
Much like Kevin Bacon's dance moves.

Amazement 24/7

2007-11-18T05:37:00.000+11:00

..he's a part of our lives. Here, in our house. His little belongings lay scattered from room to room. A bottle, a bib, a flannette blanket. I hear his cries instantly. My feet scramble beneath me, making haste to his cot where I find him crumple faced & hungry. I can't describe the feeling of lifting his tiny body from the crib & holding him, warm to my chest. The words tumble from my mouth as I hush & comfort him. I find myself kissing any exposed surface of his body. He protests, but I continue to cover him with adoration & love. As the hours pass, the prospect of having such a tiny, vunerable babe in my care lightens. I feel more confident. He watches me, listens to me. I have so much to tell him. Will there ever be enough days to declare my love? Will there ever be an emotion to equal the ones I am feeling now? I am so proud. So infatuated. So mesmerised.
For every heartbreaking step I took through infertilty, it was worth it. He was worth it. He is worthy of every wonderous, amazing, joyful experience life can offer.
My baby. My boy. Thank you, thank you for giving me what I so desperately wanted all those years. A chance to know you. I never imagined how utterly complete you make me feel.

Never, ever give up girls. Not for a second. Not for anything.

Homeboy.

2007-11-16T12:20:00.000+11:00

He's home.
It's glorious. And terrifying!
He has settled in well. Waking like clockwork every 3 hours. He makes the most adorable sounds while feeding. I made up a song to pay homage. I sing it while he stares up at me. The song is called "Cranky Duck" It goes like this: "You're a Cranky Duck. Quack. You're a little Cranky Duck. Quack Quack. You're a Cranky Duck, a Cranky Duck. Quack"
He totally digs it.

Wow. I finally, finally feel like a mother.

Black & White.

2007-11-10T20:20:00.000+11:00

Words are sometimes unnecessary.

Bubble Bath.

2007-11-08T14:47:00.001+11:00

Cooper had his first Big Bath yesterday. He wailed....mostly. Little arms flung out wide in fright. He clung onto his wash cloth. He ate bubbles. I loved towelling him off. His little head looked like a fuzzy peach. He smelled delicious. He got weighed, 2050 gms. Little dude! You are so lovely!

Suck it.

2007-11-06T12:45:00.000+11:00

Thanks so much for still dropping by. It must be a bit boring here lately. I appreciate you letting me rave on about Cooper. It's important for me to document this time.
Today, Cooper will have his first bottle. The hospital likes Mummy to give the first feed, and Mummy is thrilled to accept the challenge. By the way he sucks on his dummy I feel confident he will know what to do with the bottle. Here's hoping. He is now in the discharge nursery with 8 other bubs (including another Cooper!) It's very relaxed & non-clinical. We can pick him up whenever we like & he has gained more weight.

On the homefront I have his room all ready & waiting. All his little clothes hang, his pram has been mastered, his snuggle bed awaits. I try not to loiter in there too much because it makes me feel a little sad that he is missing....but it's also comforting to be amongst his things & imagine him home.
That will certainly be an amazing day.
He's 3 weeks tomorrow. And still as cute as a wee button.

Moving Up

2007-11-04T10:28:00.000+11:00

...well our boy is certainly the achiever. He has graduated out of the NICU into Special Care. It feels wonderful. Cooper will take the "Sucking Feeds 1.0" course this week as he progresses onto bottle feeds. I called it quits on the expressing. I tried for 16 days to produce enough milk for him & it just hasn't happened. I am comfortable with my decision. He tolerates the formula well. He is gaining weight and that's all that matters. Cooper has his eyes open alot more often now, he is quite the sticky beak. Making eye contact with your child gives you goosebumps.

Here's hoping that a new week brings even more developments because we are so, so desperate to get this little boy home.
...nearly there, Cooper.

Good Boy

2007-11-01T20:29:00.000+11:00

Someone said goodbye to their central line today.
No more nasty drips! All that remained was a precious, tiny bruised hand. Someone also said goodbye to their hotcot & said hello! to a plain, old cot! Yay!

He lost his umbilical stump too.
Well done darling.
Another step closer to home.

The Bad Nurse.

2007-10-31T08:18:00.000+11:00

Cooper is 2 weeks old today.
It hasn't passed quickly. It feels like an eternity since he arrived. Maybe the trips to the NICU are getting me down. Maybe.

The staff who work with Cooper are amazing. Men & Women who exude care, love & professionalism. They coo at the babies, they talk to the parents with concern & respect & they leave me full of amazement & confidence that Cooper is getting all the care he needs while I am not there. They handle the babies with such ease & flair, I marvel at it. They pick the babes up with a technique I call "The Clamp". They put a hand around the head & a hand on the buttocks & clamp down, raising Cooper out of the cot with one felled movement. I struggle to even re-position Cooper on my chest for fear of breaking him & also because there is barely enough flesh to grip onto.

However, I encountered my first asshole nurse this week. And I seriously wanted to scissor kick her in the head. Only my fresh c-section wound stopped me.
She spoke to me like I was 5 years old & so started a condescending tirade of advice & nitpicking that really spoiled my visit.
Here is a list of the things that I did unto her liking:

I put my handbag in the wrong place.
I wore a watch.
I folded his nappy wrong.
I didn't wash my hands enough.
I didn't use the rubbish bin correctly.
I wiped his eyes wrong.
I fed him wrong.
I hadn't signed up to feeding classes (never knew about them)
I didn't hold his feet right when changing nappy.
I didn't hold his legs right when wiping.
I used alcohol to clean my hands (they provide it)
I refused to have his booties on.

etc, etc, etc.

Sheesh bitch. How will Cooper ever survive when I bring him home on my own? The thing that really upset me was her tone & the way she veiled all the negative comments with an air of superiority. I know that she knows a whole lot more about newborns than me....but I feel she wasn't "teaching" me rather she was suffocating my confidence.

She then changed Cooper's feeding tube (which I HATE seeing) it makes him cry & pointed out that the last nurse pushed his tube too far down his nose, probably causing him discomfort. Thanks, really wanted to know that.

Barbara, you're a dog. Probably very good at what you do, but a first class asshat. I hope you never look after my son again.

Daddy....

2007-10-27T20:28:00.000+10:00

*Updated With Stats*

A few of you wanted birth stats....I am willing & able to oblige!
Cooper Tait arrived at 2.17 pm on Oct 17th. He weighed 1.74 kilo's and measured 44.5 cms long.
He has a strawberry birthmark that starts on his right knee & spirals up around his thigh to sprinkle on his buttocks. It is faint & charming. I hope it doesn't bother him as he grows older. "Tait" is Peter's mother's maiden name. We chose to honour her for lots of reasons. Since her stroke last year, she has been blind. It breaks our hearts to know she will never see her new grandson.
Cooper cried as soon as he was delivered. I was gobsmacked to discover a son...instead of the daughter I'd believed 'Hef' to be.
I had an epidural block. Unfortunately, a section of my bowel was cut during the c-section & I had to have a general anaesthetic while another doctor repaired that (as the spinal block wore off I could FEEL them working on me) that terrified me & I panicked. I woke up in recovery 3 hours later. On my way from recovery to Maternity they pushed my bed via the NICU where I was allowed to reach into Cooper's humidicrib & touch his feet.
Natural childbirth must be agonising but I tell you a c-section hurts like a motherfucker in the days after too!

*end update*

..despite our car overheating on the freeway enroute to visit Cooper, we were undeterred! We limped home, swapped cars & continued our journey! Damn it! Daddy had a cuddle appointment!

And we got the goods.
Ah......so, so good.

The smallest steps...

2007-10-27T08:16:00.000+10:00

Peter watched Cooper sleeping the other night and commented "I just want to kiss him.." Oh. It was such a sweet moment. Peter is still waiting for his first cuddle, something that we hope will finally happen today.

When I arrived at the NICU yesterday I was floored to see my little man out of his humidicrib and in a hot cot! Basically it is an open top BIG BOY'S bed! A heated water mattress had him lulling like a......well, a baby! He even had a jacket & beanie on. I lost my shit at the sweetness! If he can maintain his own body temperature in the hot cot, he can stay there. It means we can touch him, pester him, kiss toes & pop dummies in with greater ease. He is now taking 8 mils of milk every 2 hours. News that has my tits in a twist because I am only producing just enough milk to cope! I am hiring an electric breast pump today to help keep up demand.

I am so thrilled with his progress. I changed my first shitty nappy yesterday, what a messy, happy task! Then I got to cuddle Cooper for an hour and 20 minutes. He completely wrapped his little body around my torso, tiny legs almost doing the splits, spread eagled around my hips.
We held hands.
I think he likes me.

My Son, Cooper...

2007-10-23T09:14:00.000+10:00

I was discharged from hospital yesterday.
I am glad to be home. My God. My mind still hasn't processed what has happened. It has been a terrifying, agonising, exhilerating time. Thanks to Kay for such a beautiful entry I cry everytime I read her post.
Our darling son will be staying in special care for abut 5 weeks. I have held him on 3 occasions. He can only come out of the crib when well enough. He is breathing on his own, he has bouts of jaundice, bouts of Nil By Mouth...but today is back on milk (1 mil every 4 hours) which seems insane, but all his little tummy can process.

I will travel to the hospital as often as my health allows to deliver his milk & gaze upon his perfect being. I am being as strong & sensible as I can. Knowing he is in tremendous hands, even though they are not my own.

Although we still wait...He is here.
And the love that Peter & I feel for Cooper has altered our lives forever.

IT'S A BOY!!!!

2007-10-17T20:13:00.000+10:00

Yes!!! You read right!!!
It's Kay here...Mony's BFF!!!
And I have been given the great honour of announcing the arrival of Baby Cooper to Mony's "other family" - you guys!!!

Mony was admitted to hospital a week ago suffering a horrid kidney blockage thanks to the then "Hef" who decided to lodge himself in a very awkward position...unfortunately her kidney function did not return to normal as we had hoped and after much deliberation - it was decided that the baby would be delivered this week...

As you would all know Mony was only 32 weeks so she has spent a very anxious few days making preparations as best she could for an early delivery...she was given a course of steroids to help form a protective lining inside the the baby's lungs & make it less painful for him when he gave his first little cry...She was advised yesterday that she was booked in for a c-section & would be given an epidural block so that she could be awake for the birth...

I spent a lovely couple of hours with Mony, her Mum & her Aunty last night - and she was in great spirits...she was of course worried that little Hef was going to be 8 weeks premmie & dissappointed that she wouldn't be able to take her baby home with her like most mums do...but she was also excited about the prospect of her dream finally coming to fruition - the dream of being a Mother.

And this afternoon Mony delivered a beautiful baby boy - Cooper Tait - our little miracle boy!!! An absoulute gift from the heavens!!!

I don't have any other details to pass on at this stage other than to say that both Mony & Cooper are doing well...it was estimated that little Cooper would probably weigh in at around 1.4 kgs (approx 3pounds), but as yet I don't have a confirmed weight or any other stats!!! Rest assured though that I will pass on all the details as soon as they come to hand...

She was so determined that you guys should all be kept up to date with what was happening - and I am so thrilled to be able to share this happy news with you all...This blog has been such a comfort to Simone, and I know that like me, many of you have laughed & cried at her beautifully written posts...sharing her often heart wrenching journey along the road to motherhood every step of the way...I would like to thank you all for the support & strength you have given her - I know it has made such a difference.

So that's all for now...I'll be back asap with all the juicy details - and maybe even some pics - if I can work out how to put them up here!!! Ha!! I'm a bit of novice at this whole blogging business!!!

Bye for now,
Aunty Kay xx

Joy

2007-10-04T16:48:00.000+10:00

I've got 2 words for you Kimmie.
Compression. Stockings.

Oh heaven. Fat cankle/sausage toes begone! I invested in a pair of compression stockings & the relief is immense. I thoroughly recommend them to any swollen ankle sister.

....and joy! it's so wonderful when good news abounds.
Congrats dear hearts!

Silly Sausage

2007-09-30T07:37:00.000+10:00

I love staying at nice hotels & indulging in the mammoth, buffet style breakfast they offer. I never understood those sensible guests who begin grazing on cereal, fruit & nuts as starters. Far too civilised. I sprint past the yogurt selection grabbing the biggest platter I can & load up with all the hot delights. Eggs? You betcha. Scrambled, fried, damn it, give me a poached one too. It will sit pretty next to my bacon, hash brown & 3 varieties of toast. I eye off danishes & pastries before I even begin chomping my first grilled tomato...."I'll be back for you...." I coo to the shiny, iced cinnamon scroll. Ooooh, the juices! How many thimble sized glasses can I carry back to the table? One of each! (This is making me hungry by the way) Coffee! Tea!........fruit & cereal last, if there's room. My favourite morsel is the tiny pork sausage. Barely 2 bites in each & oozing dodginess. Yum. Yum.
The only time I dislike tiny, plump pork sausages is when I glance down at my right foot & realise that my 5 toes look scarily similar to sausages & a cankle has replaced my usual slender heel.
Hello swelling. Aren't you pretty? I am slowly ticking off all the common pregnancy ailments & boy, 3rd trimester has some originality. Going to the toilet used to be a mild inconvenience. Now it is an activity I have named "Arse Roulette". Will I poo? Will I just fart? Constipation or Mount Vesuvius? And so frequently....I'm glad we installed that 3rd toilet. It's nice to have a change of scenery each time. As I sat on the toilet yesterday I wondered if I have a haemorrhoid? Probably three. I looked down at my sausage toes & began to ask Jesus for assistance....when out of the blue a foot cramp gripped my meaty trotter with such force I nearly cried. My toes splayed out in a rigid contortion, looking alot like Mork's Nan-Noo handshake. I knew I should reach down & stretch them...easier said than done when nearly 30 weeks pregnant & already ensconced in a game of Arse Roulette.
I knew Jesus hated me. Or at least had a very strange sense of humour.

My nausea has quietened. I have stopped taking my iron (as suggested by Dr J) and it seems to be working. I see the urologist next month regarding my kidneys. For now, I am better. Well, better in the Vomit Zone at least! And! I passed my 2 hour GB tolerance test! Maybe Jesus does dig me afterall?
;)

Bleh. Twice.

2007-09-27T08:30:00.000+10:00

A quick post.
I am unwell. My afternoon sickness has morphed into all day & all night sickness. I am vomiting alot. After every meal. In fact, before every meal. My kidneys are playing up. Ultrasound reveals they are not draining well, which causes considerable pain. So, I am drugged up, laid out & counting the days. I also had my 2 hour GB tolerance test this week. I don't know the results yet.
Yuck.
OB/Gyn on Friday.
Hope everyone is faring well xx

The Ho Ho Ho

2007-09-15T14:54:00.000+10:00

I am off to a fancy dress party tonight. My beloved SIL is turning 30.....it should be a riot. What, exactly can a nearly 7 month pregnant Boom-bah go dressed as?

What else? ......Santa! No padding needed.

Here I am with Batgirl & Witchy-poo.

FUN!

*************************
On a side note, did anyone else find it troubling that Pope Benny gave the Europeans a thorough tutt-tutting because they were NOT having enough children? Too selfish, apparently. I thought this was a wildly hypocritical comment from a celibate chap who denounces IVF. That little caped crusader should read more IF blogs. Or change some of his beliefs.

Renewed.

2007-09-08T02:00:00.000+10:00

I received a renewal notice this week for my drivers licence. A standard annual event....but this year, beautifully different.
I recalled blogging about this very subject last year. I had always used this anniversary as a milestone of sorts. September had arrived again. Another infertile year had been endured. How many September's would I stumble through still not pregnant? Would I survive another year waiting for my miracle baby?

I lamented. (it's the post from last year if you are interested)

It will be a genuine watershed moment. I will be renewing my 2007 drivers licence during my 27th week of pregnancy.

Nobody else will notice. Not the bored, waiting customers. Not the bitch behind the counter. Nor the nervous P-Plater. But I will know. And even if I walk away with the most hideous, unflattering, cross eyed photo on my licence this year, nothing will veil the glorious, dazzling beauty underneath my cotton blend blouse.

Enough Ewww for Two.

2007-09-04T10:41:00.000+10:00

I'm usually not a TMI kind of girl. But to hell if I'll keep this one to myself.
My boobs.
My boobs are grand at the mo'. They are so spectacularly veiny that I am entranced each morning by their reflection. "Something is REALLY happening in Boobville" I thought just yesterday. I had to give them a little honk. And that's when the wonder of it all became a reality hit. The action of squeezing them gave me my first introduction to colostrum. And I near fainted. I really didn't know that would happen 99 days out from Hef's due date. My god!
I ran from the bathroom to track down my unsuspecting husband.....wheezing to him "My boobs have got milk...."
"Ewwww" he said.
"I KNOW!" I squealed. We are so prepared to be parents.

I will honk no more.

Hard to Watch..

2007-08-31T10:21:00.000+10:00

Thanks for your encouragement regarding my GB test. I will cross one bridge at a time....as has been my precedent.

For many seasons I have avoided certain Pay TV programmes like the plague.
And it's not only Blokesworld.
Shows like "Bringing Home Baby" and "Maternity Ward" and particularly "Test Tube Babies" have flashed across my screen, viewed for a few moments & then switched off. For obvious reasons they were painful to watch. Since falling pregnant I have found myself watching snippets, guarded, cynical. Bruised. But allowing myself a curious education (especially Maternity Ward) & trying not to roll my eyes with such an air of authority.
I realise that these programmes are edited for the best viewing value....but gosh they are hard for an IVF gal to watch.
Yesterday's episode of "Test Tube Babies" showcased a perfectly lovely couple in their late 30's. He had 4 children from a past relationship. Vasectomy. They were together 18 months. She was sure she never wanted children. Until she met him & decided he was an "Alright Guy" and wanted to have his baby. We watched them go to injection lessons. She was incredibly wimpy. Possibly overplaying it for the camera but she had to leave the room entirely on one occasion because the sight of an injection had her nearly in tears. Straight away I started yelling at the TV "Toughen up honey"....The cycle was air brushed to hell. Everything went fine. We watched them stroll out of the clinic after transfer arm in arm. The commentator informed us that in 12 days time they'll know if they got pregnant. The next scene opens up with the words "12 Days Later..." the couple look incredibly stressed, high strung, sad. That's more like the IVF I know, I thought. We hear that the couple are here for Beta even though she started bleeding over the weekend. Her period arrived. Suddenly I felt sad for them. Knowing that disappointment. "Our whole world is over" he said. "We can try again" she said through glassy eyes.
You can imagine my surprise when the clinic co-ordinator informed the couple that they were pregnant. "It's Positive" she said
"Oh My God!" Squealed the lady.
"Well!" Shouted the man.
"WTF???" Dribbled I.

I wonder what's on Blokesworld.

Give me a BREAK!

2007-08-28T12:16:00.000+10:00

For fucks sake!
I failed our Gestational Diabetes test. Of Course! Why wouldn't I? I seem to suck at everything!
Now I have to do the 2 hour tolerance test.....all these tests. I seriously feel like we are paying the wages at "Acme Pathology".

Is it the era of "Too Many Tests"???? Of course I want what is best for Hef....but I wish that didn't involve an open chequebook and a serious pounding on Mummy's coping skills.
Sheesh.

The Big Easy

2007-08-25T14:53:00.000+10:00

Some day are diamonds. Your schedule comes together effortlessly. Like yesterday, for want of an example. Our 24 week check up with Dr J. My Dr's office is located within a modern, bright Private Hospital that has a luscious cafeteria, tasteful decoration & well heeled inhabitants. I often wonder if anyone is ever sick or in pain within the corridors? The softly lit suites hardly seem capable of harbouring suffering.
The car park, however is impossible. FULL of pain & suffering! Often, several repeat loops must be navigated before locating a spot. Not good for the nerves if you are already running late. But yesterday we cruised under the boom gate, sailed into into a prime parking spot and promptly high fived each other. It's the little things you see, that incite glee for P & I! We headed straight for Pathology to take my Gestational Diabetes screening test and bingo!..the waiting room was empty! I downed my glucose drink with abandon. It was sweet, chilled & surprisingly pleasant. The lab technician set a stopwatch and told us to come back in 1 hour for the blood test. We headed upstairs to Dr J's rooms with minutes to spare. I thought of the many, many times I'd been within this clinic. Over the years, seemingly the only flat bellied, barren girl amongst a smattering of gestating queens & their bored husbands. There is nothing more heart sore than an infertile in a Ob/Gyn waiting room. I felt an air of melancholy within me....even as I balanced a magazine on my expanding belly. It's hard to believe that we're there because I'm pregnant & not because Plan F, G & H failed. The appointment goes well. My belly is measured, cervix is confirmed long, Hef's heartbeat dances around our ears. My husband looks glassy eyed. I feel a little bashful, being pantless & wandmonkeyed in his full view. Just as things were wrapping up, a brisk knock at the door was followed by his assistant's voice "You are needed in the Labour Ward" she says, panic free. Dr J points to the tissues & calmly announces "Everything is looking wonderful! Now, I'd better go...take your time dressing, let yourselves out and see you in a fortnight" My husband urged him on his way, much like sending a warrior into battle! Exiting I did feel a tad sorry for the waiting patients. Who knew how long they'd be there for...waiting for Dr J to return from this delivery? Why did I feel so smug that our appointment had not been delayed? We got lucky. Back at pathology, the stopwatch was counting down 33 seconds....32...31. Perfect timing! Blood was drawn, lunch was bought & to top everything off....we were under the free parking quota by milliseconds. Shizzah!
Ah, yes. Some days are Diamonds!

Optional belly shot below if you are still inclined.

Boo.

My Tribute to.....Mylanta

2007-08-19T04:41:00.000+10:00

My innards growl all night and day,
Intestines...bowel in disarray.

Belching acid on the hour,
...regretting what I did devour.
Indigestion! Oh so dire!
My Oesophagus! It burns like fire!
MYLANTA! ....mystic tummy fixer,
Chalky white, supreme elixir.

How I crave your offensive taste,

Spoonfuls gulped with messy haste.

You alleviate the torment well,

And rescue me from heartburn hell.

My trusty friend.... all bottled blue,

Sweet reflux slayer...I heart you.

Wishy Washer

2007-08-15T08:28:00.000+10:00

On the weekend I fulfilled a lifelong fantasy.
I washed baby clothes & hung them out to dry.
Mundane?
No. Thrilling!

I rarely have those daydreams where I am actually holding, rocking or bathing a Baby. I still can't picture myself with a wee one.

But strangely I do daydream about buying baby items in aisle 5, chatting to my kid...and hanging out tiny singlets to dry.

Baby clothes are sooo darling. Ridiculously small. Needy. They barely warrant a peg on the clothes line. But standing in my backyard, admiring those little garments flapping, I thought my heart should surely burst.

And folding baby clothes to put away in minuscule drawers is almost as intoxicating.
Sigh. 23 weeks today.

Bend & Stretch..

2007-08-10T08:38:00.000+10:00

At last, I agree with a topic written about in my "Pregnancy For Imbeciles" book. Pregnancy makes you clumsy. I have indeed, morphed into a doofus-y klutz. Daily I drop things, I smash things, I tip cups over, spill lunch, fumble, trip over my shadow...you get the idea. Apparently the joints in your hands become relaxed & you don't grip things as tight as you normally would. It is quite bizarre. I am also on stretch mark alert. So far, I have not a one. But each morning & feel a little tighter, a little itchier & know it would be unusual to escape without getting the buggers. I haven't been doing "The Dance of 1000 Creams" (thanks Pat) I guess I am happy enough to leave it up to fate.
I feel Hef every now & then. I wish there was a little more activity. The movements are subtle, enough to captivate me & then leave me desperate for more. "Hello Baby" I say & touch my belly. I stayed at my brothers house through the week, my 6 month old niece woke several times through the night. I lay listening to my SIL soothe her & warm a bottle in the pitch black kitchen. I was thinking "that will be me soon".....and in agreeance, Hef gave a little kick. Just you wait.

Let Me Entertain You..

2007-08-08T11:10:00.001+10:00

...Ha! Well, I can't argue with that.
The Centre of Attention is one of my favourite places.