Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Myself

What about another baby?
I know that life after infertility can still be a rocky road.
Many of us ponder the possibility of another child. A sibling for our miracle babies. Dare we dream?


Of course we dream. But for me personally, I think my IVF journey has finished. I always told myself that I would be happy with one child. Understatement. I would be completely, totally content with one child. If I could get one. I still feel that way. And for that I am thankful. The pain, longing & sadness of IF has disappeared from my life. It's a memory buried deep within.
A scar that's faded almost entirely. If we had frozen embryo's left over perhaps I would feel differently. I'm sure I would. Who knows if my desire for another child will surface again in the coming years? I suppose that bridge will be crossed if & when. For now, I cherish every second of my new life. Free from the harrowing, consuming hurt that IF brings.
I am "me" again.
I longed for "me" so often during our struggle. The carefree girl I was. Lost amid the brutal sadness.
A baby introduces so many things. Most importantly, it re-introduces you to yourself.
Hello Mony.
I missed you. Welcome back.

Stay right here, in this wonderful life of ours & long no more.

16 Comments:

Blogger Keeping The Faith said...

That was stated very well! So happy for you.

25/5/08  
Blogger hadjare said...

I agree -- and part of me is wishing for a "oops" pregnancy that happens without trying...

But I do think we are going to try again after a year. It's crazy to think that for the first three months I was petrified of getting pregnant -- even though know the liklihood of that happening was slim -- I couldn't fathom it. NOW ... now, I think ... hey it wasn't that bad...three months was like a blink of an eye.

Is Cooper starting to get some hair?!

25/5/08  
Blogger Mony said...

Hair!? Ha! Ha! He is the baldest babe ever! He has a very fine covering of fuzz about 1 millimetre long. His brush & comb set are still in the packaging!

25/5/08  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

Mony...What a beautiful post...

Cooper is just adorable.....getting sweeter by the minute...

I really..."get" this post....

25/5/08  
Blogger LL said...

ahhh mony... I never knew YOU before, but look forward to getting to know more of YOU... (as long as YOU is as funny as you..)

I longed for another, probably because there were frosties left... but that all went to shit...

25/5/08  
Blogger Pixxiee said...

Happiness is definately it's own reward. I am glad you have found you again. And that the pain of infertility is over for you. Never say never, but enjoy Cooper, he is just beautiful.

26/5/08  
Blogger Dr. Grumbles said...

I could certainly imagine that he would be quite satisfying.

28/5/08  
Blogger Spanglish said...

I have four frosties and no interest... I'm too happy to even consider revisiting life during IF. To your post I say AMEN!! Life is good.

28/5/08  
Blogger My Reality said...

This is such a beautiful post, Mony. I am glad You are back.

28/5/08  
Blogger Piccinigirl said...

WOW, what a beautiful post and said with such honesty and the lack of "longing". It feels nice sometimes to just breathe these days doesn't it?

I am happy for you and whatever life has in store for you from now on. It will be nice to meet the YOU we never really got to know yet.

Cooper is completely handsome, that kid is just beautiful. A true dream come true.

28/5/08  
Blogger Milenka said...

I hear you. Maybe I would have felt differently if I had only had one baby that first time. Maybe I would feel differently if this pregnancy were to not end well. Overall, though, I am more than happy to live my life the way it is and never deal with trying to conceive again. I am so glad that we finally made it, my friend.

29/5/08  
Blogger OvaGirl said...

This is such a beautiful expression of happiness and inner peace Mony. And your baby is truly beautiful.

Congratulations Mony, and welcome back!

29/5/08  
Blogger Geohde said...

:)

Mony, so glad to read such a lovely post,

J

2/6/08  
Blogger Lut C. said...

I feel liberated too! No longing to go down that path again.

But, we will probably try again, just not immediately.

I've been enjoying being with my girl so much!

3/6/08  
Blogger Kate said...

You said it perfectly. Yesterday I went for a run for the first time in over a year and a half. I dusted off my iPOD and ran and listened to all the songs I use to listen to before I was pregnant and I remembered all the old feelings of sadness and loss. Feelings that are no longer a part of my life. As I was running I was so completely grateful that that painful chapter of my life was over and I felt truly blessed that after my run I was going home to my beautiful little girl.

6/6/08  
Blogger Milenka said...

Not sure if I mentioned it earlier, but I'm blogging here now...http://www.milenka.com/2008/ Can't wait to see more Cooper photos! :-)

7/6/08  

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