Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Joy. It Be Here.
Long time between posts. Hello.
I do hope the world of IF is well.
I am still separated from my DH. We see each other regularly, things are looking up. I do hope to move back home soon.
In the meantime, life as a single Mum is joyous. Hard, but wonderful. Cooper is a delightful side-kick who keeps my humour buoyant.
My little pad is feeling more like a homely refuge instead of an empty, lonely villa. We do enjoy our gypsy style life. We visit family often, take long trips to the park & beach. I look forward to each day ahead with my son.
I am happy. I feel grown up, relaxed and important. Feelings I hadn't experienced for ages.
An unhappy marriage can bring such agony. Emotional & personal turmoil are no longer for me. I have taken control....a huge leap of faith...and I think my bravery is paying off.
Don't stay in an unhappy situation forever.
Take yourself a few steps outside of the darkness & marvel.
The sun, it shines, oh how.
Laughter finds you.
The respect you deserve is attainable.
Believe in your capabilities & seek contentment.
Wrap it around your shoulders never let it go.
It's advice I should have given myself a long time ago.
Take it, if you need it....or share it with someone you care about.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The school fair was in full swing by the time we arrived. Somewhere in the crowd was my Brother, SIL & kids. My nephews had been long awaiting their annual funday. Cooper nearly catapulted out of his stroller at the sight of RIDES! He could barely contain himself. Try explaining to a 2 year old that you have to WAIT in line before you get to spin around on the flying chairs. He was a squealing ball of toddler.
When he finally landed a spot...it was I who became a squealing ball of Mother. Look at him go! My baby! Carnival fodder! Heellloooo!
After the ride I helped Cooper out his highly secure chair (20 cms of flimsy, lightweight chain) and handed him over the barricade to my Brother. I took all of 10 steps back around the enclosure and met with my Brother.....and where was the wee swinger Cooper? My brother shot me a "Uh-Oh" look.....looking around like a bloke who'd just been swindled. Cooper was gone.
The next 10 minutes were a haunting, flurry of mass panic & realisation. Somewhere in the moving, screaming throng was my boy. We looked high & low.
I scanned the crowd.."please...please " I whispered through clenched teeth.."Let me see you"...
We made our way to the Principal who clutched the all important microphone & he repeated the details:
"Attention everyone we have a lost 2 year old."
I've heard similar announcements a thousand times, but never have I described my own child's outfit for all to find.
"He has a grey t-shirt, denim shorts.."
"Nooooo!" I bellowed..."he's wearing long blue cords! And blue gum boots"
The details were corrected & I stood there desperately waiting for someone to stop my heart from exploding. LOOOKK everyone! Please, put down that sausage sandwich & look for blue gumboots!
The thoughts are irrational. Who has him? How much ground has he covered? Oh where is he? Please be safe. Please let me find him.
My mobile phone rang. He was found. The nightmare, brief, but over.
Of course he never even knew he was lost. The only thing missing to Cooper was a flimsy chain, a rickety swinging chair & the wind in his fine, blonde baby hair.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
His little friend was sitting on the floor crying. She was in trouble for being a bit naughty. He went to her & crouched down then gave her a big embrace. She cuddled him back. I love that he has care & instinctive compassion in him. It shows me that I am raising a thoughtful little man.
I also love that I find him doing things like this.
He's definitely got some of my tomfoolery in his DNA.
And a love of headwear.