Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Baby Bump

This weekend, I spent time with some of our closest friends. A big group of us sat in the backyard, got a great fire going, rounded up comfy chairs in a circle & drank, laughed, sang..Peter even got the guitar out & we made it backyard musical. I felt like a teenager! One of the couples in our "gang" are expecting their first baby. She is 25 weeks along & is just starting to really "Look" pregnant. The bump is really noticeable. We spoke about her pregnancy & the baby & the all the changes happening with her body. She is a really special girl, she knows all about our infertility. She realises how seeing her fall pregnant easily & now growing before my eyes must be quite painful for us. I totally love the way she understands. I have never felt uneasy around her, envious? Yes. But I'm sure there are things about my life that she envies too. I am so happy that having pregnant ladies & little kids in my face doesn't reduce me to mush. Once upon a time, it would have. Years ago I probably would have opted to stay at home. Spared myself. I would have missed out on all the fun rather than join my friends. I would have avoided seeing the pregnant belly, because it would make me so depressed. I am so glad those days are behind me. Yes, the envy hangs over me, but it doesn't overshadow the happiness I feel for her. Thank god for all of us.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

It's impossible to fill you in on our last 3 years, here's the shortened version. I am 33, Peter is 37. We married in 2002. TTC straight away. 12 months no success. Enter Doctor. Sperm, Good. Blood test, Good. Uterus, Bad. Didelphys Uterus discovered (split into 2 cavities) but not a medical reason to be infertile. TTC 6 months. No Success. Clomid 6 months. Ovulatin, Good. No success. Enter Doctor. HSG X-ray confirms Blocked Left Fallopian tube. Problem. The split uterus & blocked tube combine to make natural conception very unlikely. Enter IVF. Consult...Nod...freak out...decide to shelve it because I'm a chicken. Build a a new house instead & pray for a pregnancy miracle. 12 months on. New House is Brillant! Lucked out on the miracle though. IVF time again. I needed a new referal by this stage, so back to Gyno where I tell him about some abnormal bleeding in between cycles & pain in my abdomen. Ordered ultra sounds. Bingo. Now my right tube is completely blocked & a nice polyp had set up camp in my uterus. Gyno wants IVF's opinion on possible tubal removal. IVF won't touch me with a 10 foot pole until those tubes are out. Just when I got brave too! Fast forward to now. Gyno is scheduling surgery for July to remove 2 x tubes & polyp. Meet with new IVF Doctor in August to begin cycle.
So, three years on, we have lived & loved, laughed & cried, bided our time. All around us, fertility rules with an iron fist. Babies, babies everywhere..just not for us. We've come a long way and yet, we are still at the very beginning. Hang On tight!

Friday, May 27, 2005

..Let there be Blog....

...Well, I've done it.
Joined the ranks. Stepped up to the challenge. Created a Blog.
I have watched from the sidelines for long enough. I've read your stories.
I have nodded in agreeance, reeled in horror, cheered for the triumps. But, I have a story too & I hope that you will stay here with me until I reach "Happy Ever After...."