Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Southern Hospitality

Am I excited much? Oh yeah!

We are south bound tomorrow for our Tasmanian adventure! I am looking forward to it immensely! This trip has been months in the planning. It's a tag team holiday between P's folks & us. For those who aren't native Aussie's.... Tasmania is the smaller island hanging underneath the Mainland. This will be my first visit.

Two weeks ago, P's parents "Team A" took their Winniebago over to Tasmania on the "Spirit Of Tasmania II" ship and began their 2 week holiday. Tomorrow P & I "Team B" are flying into Launceston to meet up with Ma & Pa. On Sunday they fly home to Sydney & we take over the Winniebago for our 2 week tour! The winniebago is basically a home on wheels. The little ripper has every comfort & modern convenience you could desire. It's a great deal of fun to drive & holiday in.

We bring it back home aboard the cruise ship "Spirit of Tasmania III" in the first week of June. It is a 22 hour sea trip back across the Bass Strait and up the coast to Sydney. So we have a flight, a driving tour & a high sea adventure all in one getaway!

They say variety is the spice of life.

I say......yes.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Always A Bridesmaid!

How's this for a "Guinesse Book of Records" achievement? I have been a Bridesmaid 10 times.
I know! It's insane, huh? Considering I don't even have a sister, I am still gobsmacked by my popularity! I was a bridesmaid 9 times before I got married. So much for the old wives tale "3 times a Bridesmaid never a Bride" It was a bit of a running joke (oh, yeah...Ha Ha) that I would never get married. I had caught more bouquets than a Prima Ballerina.... and still no husband. Well, I did make it down the aisle at aged 30. Thanks to my years of 1st hand experience I was quite a Wedding expert by then. I knew exactly what I did & didn't want. I knew what worked, what was a waste of money & what was an absolute requirement. After I was married I presumed my bridesmaid days were behind me.
I was wrong.
The honour was bestowed upon me one last time. My big #10. One of my dearest girlfriends was married one year ago today and it was the most glorious, elegant, high-classed affair I'd ever participated in. It was the glazed cherry to top off my bridesmaid career. L was the most breath-taking Bride I'd ever seen in real life. And she behaved like a true lady. Unlike yours truly on her Wedding Day. But I'm sure you'll agree that after waiting sooooo long to be a bride myself I earned the privilege of swillin' beer, dancing on tables and brandishing "Thumbs Up" through white satin gloves.


Saturday, May 06, 2006

Real Life

Prayers for Sophie & her Mum. Could life get any crueller?

And also for these guys. Please get them out today.

Nothing like a nice dose of reality to smack your petty arse.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Thank You

....Ah, thank you so much for your comments on my last post. I am chuffed that despite your own ordeals you cared enough to reach out to me.
I usually don't write about my domestic drama's. Frankly, they embarress me. I don't tell my real life friends or family...because it seems silly & things usually sort themselves out quickly enough. I guess yesterday I was so disappointed in my husband, lamenting the fact that I had the only jerk husband in the world. I needed someone to tell me I was OK, and it was him who acted like a baby. You did. Thanks. P uses very strange tactics to vent his frustration. He'll pick a fight with me & then let loose. I do take the brunt of his emotions, good & bad. It certainly isn't easy. I know he was baiting me with the "Dinner" comment and I know that if I'd reacted then we would have ended up in a big fight, I would be crying, I would have to come to work & pretend everything was fine & get through a rough day. I wasn't worth it. But I know it's wrong to let him speak to me that way, I hate it. I'd do almost anything to avoid a fight & unfortunately that includes letting my husband be dominant & at times walk all over me. Bad. Bad. I hate to admit it. I wish I was tough like many of you! Anyway, I know that many marriages have problems, all different kinds of problems, sometimes the woman, sometimes the man. I can't pretend my marriage is perfect. Although I am happy most of the time, sigh.....I'll shut up now.

Anyone seen the trailer for the new Lassie Movie. Oh. My. God. I will bawl my eyes out.
Love & Peace ladies.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Hurt Feelings Justified?

....You know how the smallest things can get you so down in the dumps? I feel so defeated today. So weak & unhappy. My marriage is on my mind alot. What do I want out of it? How happy am I? How happy is he?

Yesterday, my husband got off work early. He went straight to his mate's house at 4.00 pm & began drinking beer. When I got home from work I decided to walk our dog down there for a quick visit. I only stayed about 20 minutes & walked home. As 7pm approached I rang P and asked him what were we going to do for dinner, we decided on a BBQ chicken (No fuss) & I asked him if he could pick one up on his way home. No, he couldn't. So I walked to the shop & got one. No problem. I sent him a text message to say that I got a chicken, that I was going to lay down (I just got my period & add to that a Wisdom tooth removed 24 hours earlier) I told him no need to rush home. I left the damn chicken on the counter & the heater on. Anyway, he got home at 11.40pm!! I thought this was very late. He hadn't seen me hardly all day, it's a week night etc. But I didn't say much because I was half asleep & he had been drinking. I didn't want a big arguement. This morning I was up first, ironing work & golf clothes (he plays golf every Thursday) He was very grumpy. I could tell. I tried small talk, but then just steered clear. I had hoped to bring up his late entry the night before, but knew better. He was quite frankly, pissed off with me. He commented in a very cold way that he was "Disappointed with dinner last night"
I didn't even answer him. In my submissive, pathetic state I stayed silent rather than start a big fight. He can be a real bully. I was hurt that he thought it was okay to drink beer for 7 hours at his mates while I was at home alone and he could stumble in the door close to midnight & be upset that I hadn't done more for dinner than buy a BBQ chicken. (At his request) Would you be upset? Or should I just learn to be a better wife? It makes me very sad. Why can't I stand up to him? Even though I take no shit of anyone else????

Edit to add: He drinks with his buddies EVERY Wednesday night & has done for as long as we have been together. These men are approaching 40...or are already 40 years old.

Edit to add more: He has rang me today to ask after my tooth & smooth things over in general. I told him how hurt I was about this morning, he knew. I am not going to delete this post however because I don't want to trivialise the way I felt today. He behaved badly & although it seems silly now, I really did feel dismayed.