Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Wand Monkey-O-Rama

We had our ultrasound today.
I was nervous. Afraid even. Reminiscent of the first time I ever watched "EVIL DEAD"...I wanted to look at the screen, but was too scared to focus in. What would I see? Could I stand it?
......lucky I peeked. There was the heartbeat. The yolk sac. Measuring spot on 7 weeks.

This is no scary movie, in fact it's as close to a fairy tale as I've ever dared be.

Friday, April 27, 2007



Thursday, April 26, 2007


The strangest thing happened to me yesterday.
I saw a 'friend' of mine while I was out for lunch. She is a girl I have known distantly since I was a teenager. About 2 years ago we made small talk & discovered we were both doing IVF. This was enough to renew our acquaintance and we occasionally call each other just to touch base & see how the "Treatments" are progressing etc.
...I saw her walk into the Club & I immediately froze.
I hid, from her. I didn't want her to see me or ask me how I was.
I couldn't face telling her that I was pregnant. I just couldn't do that to my IF friend. So I laid low, watched her drink a beer and slunk away guilt ridden. The strangest thing. Why did I do that?

Monday, April 23, 2007

Bring Me Some Water!

Like. An. Imbecile.

But. Won't. Stop. Eating.

Can't. Drink. Enough.

Today's bloodwork has shown a significant rise in my HCG level.
Our clinic says "You are doing really well!"
We have cleared another hurdle & that, my friends is astounding and joyous.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Boob Scrutiny. The Early Days.

After all these years, you would think I'd mastered the art of patience.
Ah! Ha! Ha! Hilarious!
I have only been pregnant 2 seconds and I want my baby NOW!
Thus far I have avoided feelings of guilt, trepidation or anxiety....I'm sure there's plenty of time for that later. I am feeling great. I gag constantly. I wake several times a night. I have given up spaghetti (did someone say reflux?) but overall these things are easy to cope with.
I stare at my body each morning in the mirror, regretting that tattoo but mostly searching for a sign of change. A bump. A lump. A stretch. A darkening of area. Of course there's nothing. There won't be any changes for weeks.
Further bloodwork next week, and an U/S on the 30th. Until then I shall embrace my blissful naivety & grin broadly at every pregnant woman I see. It's a nice change from scowling at them. For both parties.

Friday, April 13, 2007


Still Surreal.

At our clinic, we have to call for blood results between 3 & 4 pm. On Tuesday Peter made the call while I cowered under a pillow on the loungeroom floor. During the call Peter fled the room with phone in hand & that of course made me think it was all bad. I could barely breathe. I chased him & overheard him say "So, she has to stay on all her meds".....then I knew. Holy shit. How unreal. In the excitement we forgot to ask about HCG numbers etc (I mental) So I have been waiting for them to arrive in the mail. Why am I so calm? Yesterday we received our "Congratulations" paperwork & found out the HCG was 765. This is the first time I have ever been pregnant, but I think this number is good for 13dp5dt. I may be a IF veteran....but I am a pregnancy novice.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


.....I have an Orange belt to jazz up my Brown Jumpsuit.

(re: my post at )

The star embryo did good.
I am pregnant.
And completely overwhelmed.
Wow...oh, WOW!

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


Ha! Yes, 7dp5dt. What is happening in there? I do not need to explain the utter pain & misery & glorious hope of the 2ww to any of you.
You all know.

No symptoms. Except slightly sore ( . )( . )
...actually, I think I just wanted to draw my tits using only brackets & full-stops. It cracks me up.
Beta next Tuesday. I have already said to Peter that should our star embryo fail, breaking our hearts & souls with a slimy flick of it's hatching tail...then I shall only be consoled with a puppy. So I guess I have something to look forward to either way........a baby is coming....just not sure if it's 2 or 4 legged.
I need a drink. A great, big drink.