Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

26th January

In honour of our National Day I am posting in Aus-lingo.
Forgive me?


It's Australia Day today! You bloody beauty!
Everyone is stoked because we deadset love scoring a bludge!
I was laying in the sack this morning, all comfy under the doona. Peter kept mucking around (probably trying to pash me) I got all agro & chucked a spaz. I told the boofhead to knock it off before I flogged him.
I finally got up for a cuppa & some brekkie. I love vegeing out.
Later this arvo we are hotfooting it over to our mate's place in the ute. He's teed up a barbie. It's BYO so we'll go past the Bottle-O and stock the esky with stubbies. Everyone's lobbing over to watch the cricket on the tele, sink a few coldies & have a bit of a yack. I just hope it's not a scorcher.
I'm a bit of a misery guts today. Feeling a bit iffy. Peter said that we can rack off early if I feel like piking. He's such a top bloke (and a spunk!) But I said Up Yours... I'm no wuss. I'm not crook, just a bit stroppy. My period has shot through & I'm on the verge of chucking a wobbly. I'm a sook!
Righto, I'll stop whinging & pull me head in. I have to get outta me trackies, scrub up & make tracks.
Up yours, uterus, you can get stuffed. Besides, there's plenty of time for a dummy spit tomorrow.

Tops! I just bolted to the loo & had a squiz in me undies. I am a happy little vegemite because my period is here!
What a ripper!
Catch ya's.

PS: Please note how I avoided using the words Strewth, Crikey, Flamin' Galah, Sheila, Cobber, Dingbat, Shrimp or Drongo.
As if!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Bloody HELL!!

I rarely need advice....I usually know everything ;)
BUT! I need some help from you "Been there...Done that" experts!
I started & finished my Provera, I have been sniffing my Synarel since January 16...yesterday I went for a bloodtest to check my levels and HORROR! everything is on hold because my stupid period has gone missing. I am disappointed. I thought I would be starting Puregon on Friday. Instead I have to wait for my period & go back next week for another bloodtest. I don't feel any AF cramps, no sign of it at all. I am only 4 days late but it's is very unusual. Did anyone else have a late period while waiting to begine Puregon?? No-one at the clinic seems worried & I am sure this is all apart of the IVF process but it would be nice to hear if anyone else experienced this absent period before you started.
I tell ya.......over the past years I have only been heartbroken to get my period & now that I WANT it....she pisses off.


Friday, January 20, 2006

Click Here For Website

I love this website.
Every Sunday new "Secrets" are posted.
Anyone can send in their private wish, desire, secret admission or thoughts. Some secrets make me squeal with laughter, some make me scratch my head, some make me appreciate my simple, protected life.

And some hit such a nerve that I am overwhelmed with sincere understanding.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Home Grown

I had some German friends stay with us over Christmas and they couldn't wait to see a Kangaroo! I took them to a Wildlife Park close to my home. It was so cool! Even I learnt a thing or two about our critters! Here is a smorgasboard of Marsupials. Wombat, Koala, Kangaroo and Echidna. Enjoy! I certainly did!

2006....pick up Sticks

...The New Year beckoned.....just like a cheeseburger when you've got a hangover.
Who am I kidding?
I do not need a hangover to be seduced by a cheeseburger.

I have enjoyed 3 fabulous weeks off work, hence my absence.
It has been a godsend.
I am refreshed, renewed, motivated and more positive than ever. (Did I mention fatter?) Minor observation.
I spent 2 weeks in the company of my husband (that's him hugging me in the photo) and we completely fell in love again. (Barf-o-rama).... Giggling, talking, holding hands and simply enjoying each other. Like we did in the earliest days of our courtship. It was the best Christmas present I could have received.
And it didn't cost a cent.
This undisturbed, blissful time together helped to calm my battered emotions, strengthen my weakened spirit, and dust off my hopeless attitude. I saw my husband, my marriage and my life for the gift that it is. I felt incredibly happy to be me. To be us.

December and January Down-Under is all about summer. The Ocean, Sand, Wet beach towels, Sunburn, Balmy nights, Thongs (the kind you wear on your feet!) Aeroguard, Dolphins, Cricket, Esky's, pretty as a White Christmas must be I wouldn't trade it for our warm, endless blue skies. OK, those couple of 40 degree days over New Year where pushing the comfort envelope...and so where the many Shark sightings....oh, and bluebottles....mosquitoes, Kerry Pack*r dying........damn.....but I love being Australian. Especially in Summer. It's good for the soul.

And there's news!
I began taking Provera yesterday. The IVF rollercoaster ride has officially commenced. I got my Synarel prescription filled and I rushed home to unpack the green box. I lovingly stroked that little bottle as it lay cupped in my palm. The beginnings of our future was laying there in my clammy hand. I read and re-read the instructions precisely, devouring every morsel of fine print and nearly sprayed myself in the eye out of sheer glee. Careful! There were 60 exact doses in that Synarel bottle for my chosen nostril and not a one could be wasted on my eye.
It feels wonderful and monumentally important to swallow a Provera tablet. Knowing that such small beginnings signal to my body that the IVF process has begun. No turning back now. The gamble is on. We have become a statistic. We are now that one in three couples chasing the rainbow. Will we find our pot of gold? G-d. It's enormous. The prospects. The possibility. Enormous, I say.

I also want to praise Bob Seger.
We received his "Best Of" album for Christmas and his music is gold.
How can one feel depressed when "Hollywood Nights" is cranked up on the stereo and thumping through your eardrums? Impossible. Thanks Mr Seger. You rock.

Thank you also for all the lovely comments to my last post. As you saw from Millsy's response, she is a beautiful, treasured, thoughtful woman and a friend I adore. She understands, just as you do.

And an understanding heart is as wonderous as any Australian summer day.