26th January

In honour of our National Day I am posting in Aus-lingo.
Forgive me?

A-hem...

G'Day!
It's Australia Day today! You bloody beauty!
Everyone is stoked because we deadset love scoring a bludge!
I was laying in the sack this morning, all comfy under the doona. Peter kept mucking around (probably trying to pash me) I got all agro & chucked a spaz. I told the boofhead to knock it off before I flogged him.
I finally got up for a cuppa & some brekkie. I love vegeing out.
Later this arvo we are hotfooting it over to our mate's place in the ute. He's teed up a barbie. It's BYO so we'll go past the Bottle-O and stock the esky with stubbies. Everyone's lobbing over to watch the cricket on the tele, sink a few coldies & have a bit of a yack. I just hope it's not a scorcher.
I'm a bit of a misery guts today. Feeling a bit iffy. Peter said that we can rack off early if I feel like piking. He's such a top bloke (and a spunk!) But I said Up Yours... I'm no wuss. I'm not crook, just a bit stroppy. My period has shot through & I'm on the verge of chucking a wobbly. I'm a sook!
Righto, I'll stop whinging & pull me head in. I have to get outta me trackies, scrub up & make tracks.
Up yours, uterus, you can get stuffed. Besides, there's plenty of time for a dummy spit tomorrow.

Tops! I just bolted to the loo & had a squiz in me undies. I am a happy little vegemite because my period is here!
What a ripper!
Catch ya's.

PS: Please note how I avoided using the words Strewth, Crikey, Flamin' Galah, Sheila, Cobber, Dingbat, Shrimp or Drongo.
As if!