2006....pick up Sticks

...The New Year beckoned.....just like a cheeseburger when you've got a hangover.
Who am I kidding?
I do not need a hangover to be seduced by a cheeseburger.

I have enjoyed 3 fabulous weeks off work, hence my absence.
It has been a godsend.
I am refreshed, renewed, motivated and more positive than ever. (Did I mention fatter?) Minor observation.
I spent 2 weeks in the company of my husband (that's him hugging me in the photo) and we completely fell in love again. (Barf-o-rama).... Giggling, talking, holding hands and simply enjoying each other. Like we did in the earliest days of our courtship. It was the best Christmas present I could have received.
And it didn't cost a cent.
This undisturbed, blissful time together helped to calm my battered emotions, strengthen my weakened spirit, and dust off my hopeless attitude. I saw my husband, my marriage and my life for the gift that it is. I felt incredibly happy to be me. To be us.

December and January Down-Under is all about summer. The Ocean, Sand, Wet beach towels, Sunburn, Balmy nights, Thongs (the kind you wear on your feet!) Aeroguard, Dolphins, Cricket, Esky's, B.B.Q.......as pretty as a White Christmas must be I wouldn't trade it for our warm, endless blue skies. OK, those couple of 40 degree days over New Year where pushing the comfort envelope...and so where the many Shark sightings....oh, and bluebottles....mosquitoes, Kerry Pack*r dying........damn.....but I love being Australian. Especially in Summer. It's good for the soul.

And there's news!
I began taking Provera yesterday. The IVF rollercoaster ride has officially commenced. I got my Synarel prescription filled and I rushed home to unpack the green box. I lovingly stroked that little bottle as it lay cupped in my palm. The beginnings of our future was laying there in my clammy hand. I read and re-read the instructions precisely, devouring every morsel of fine print and nearly sprayed myself in the eye out of sheer glee. Careful! There were 60 exact doses in that Synarel bottle for my chosen nostril and not a one could be wasted on my eye.
It feels wonderful and monumentally important to swallow a Provera tablet. Knowing that such small beginnings signal to my body that the IVF process has begun. No turning back now. The gamble is on. We have become a statistic. We are now that one in three couples chasing the rainbow. Will we find our pot of gold? G-d. It's enormous. The prospects. The possibility. Enormous, I say.

I also want to praise Bob Seger.
We received his "Best Of" album for Christmas and his music is gold.
How can one feel depressed when "Hollywood Nights" is cranked up on the stereo and thumping through your eardrums? Impossible. Thanks Mr Seger. You rock.

Thank you also for all the lovely comments to my last post. As you saw from Millsy's response, she is a beautiful, treasured, thoughtful woman and a friend I adore. She understands, just as you do.

And an understanding heart is as wonderous as any Australian summer day.