Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Friday, January 13, 2006

2006....pick up Sticks



...The New Year beckoned.....just like a cheeseburger when you've got a hangover.
Who am I kidding?
I do not need a hangover to be seduced by a cheeseburger.

I have enjoyed 3 fabulous weeks off work, hence my absence.
It has been a godsend.
I am refreshed, renewed, motivated and more positive than ever. (Did I mention fatter?) Minor observation.
I spent 2 weeks in the company of my husband (that's him hugging me in the photo) and we completely fell in love again. (Barf-o-rama).... Giggling, talking, holding hands and simply enjoying each other. Like we did in the earliest days of our courtship. It was the best Christmas present I could have received.
And it didn't cost a cent.
This undisturbed, blissful time together helped to calm my battered emotions, strengthen my weakened spirit, and dust off my hopeless attitude. I saw my husband, my marriage and my life for the gift that it is. I felt incredibly happy to be me. To be us.

December and January Down-Under is all about summer. The Ocean, Sand, Wet beach towels, Sunburn, Balmy nights, Thongs (the kind you wear on your feet!) Aeroguard, Dolphins, Cricket, Esky's, B.B.Q.......as pretty as a White Christmas must be I wouldn't trade it for our warm, endless blue skies. OK, those couple of 40 degree days over New Year where pushing the comfort envelope...and so where the many Shark sightings....oh, and bluebottles....mosquitoes, Kerry Pack*r dying........damn.....but I love being Australian. Especially in Summer. It's good for the soul.

And there's news!
I began taking Provera yesterday. The IVF rollercoaster ride has officially commenced. I got my Synarel prescription filled and I rushed home to unpack the green box. I lovingly stroked that little bottle as it lay cupped in my palm. The beginnings of our future was laying there in my clammy hand. I read and re-read the instructions precisely, devouring every morsel of fine print and nearly sprayed myself in the eye out of sheer glee. Careful! There were 60 exact doses in that Synarel bottle for my chosen nostril and not a one could be wasted on my eye.
It feels wonderful and monumentally important to swallow a Provera tablet. Knowing that such small beginnings signal to my body that the IVF process has begun. No turning back now. The gamble is on. We have become a statistic. We are now that one in three couples chasing the rainbow. Will we find our pot of gold? G-d. It's enormous. The prospects. The possibility. Enormous, I say.

I also want to praise Bob Seger.
We received his "Best Of" album for Christmas and his music is gold.
How can one feel depressed when "Hollywood Nights" is cranked up on the stereo and thumping through your eardrums? Impossible. Thanks Mr Seger. You rock.

Thank you also for all the lovely comments to my last post. As you saw from Millsy's response, she is a beautiful, treasured, thoughtful woman and a friend I adore. She understands, just as you do.

And an understanding heart is as wonderous as any Australian summer day.

11 Comments:

Blogger Mellie said...

Welcome back, Mony. Your holiday sounds extremely wonderful. With all the pressures IF can put on a relationship, I'm always thrilled to hear of one that is withstanding the storm.

And a big hooray for starting the IVF process. Like you, I too am in this excited, optimistic and hopeful state about it. Let it begin!

p.s. Can you check your picture links? They don't seem to be showing up!

14/1/06  
Blogger Mony said...

Thanks Mellie! I am hopeless at posting pictures! Can anyone else see the photographs? Or not?

14/1/06  
Blogger Sandy said...

I'm so glad that you had a chance to fall in love all over again. The timing was perfect. And I just read Mill's response in your comments...snorting and sniffling here. I want you to find not only the rainbow but the pot of gold at the end. And couldn't agree more with the Seger rocks comment! My husband covers a lot of Seger's stuff in his band ... we love him. In fact, I think our first pregnancy may have been a product of a night of Seger-ing :-)

15/1/06  
Anonymous llama said...

Good luck with the IVF Mony - you know i'm thinking about you...

and yes, i can see the pictures

15/1/06  
Blogger LabiaLady said...

Mony,
I found bob seger at age 11 on a ski trip, way too many years ago.... and haven't listened to him much since... I might have to investigate that album...

Good luck as you start IVF... I hope you strike it lucky on the first go....

16/1/06  
Anonymous thalia said...

It is so exciting to start, I hope that the year continues to reward your optimism!

18/1/06  
Anonymous Aussie Jenn said...

From one Aussie IVFer to another I wish you all the very best. I can totally relate to your experience of handling your new meds...that could have been me 3 years ago....I hope you continue the way I did and have success!

23/1/06  
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