Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

In a Heartbeat

Sammy & I have been good friends for many, many years. We grew up right across the road from each other. We went from Kindy right through to High School together. She always, always makes me laugh. Hysterically. She's my girl.

Sammy married my cousin. After all our years as friends, we eventually became real family! Her 2 children are teenagers now and it is bizarre to see her with such grown kids. We are the same age, but our lives have years between them.
Sam surprised us (and herself!) a few weeks ago when she discovered she was pregnant. Completely unplanned, unexpected......the perfect "Oops" baby. She felt soooo old to be doing this baby thing again. It was hilarious for me to hear! I am still considered young in IF circles, yet she felt so old. As the thought of a new baby settled with her & her husband, the excitement crept in. Unchallenged & consuming. She told me that they lay awake at night talking about the future & making up silly names for the new baby.
Her delight was infectious. A BABY!
"We might even be pregnant together" I told her. Suddenly we were two teenagers again, planning out the years ahead. "Oh, that would be so unreal" she genuinely replied.
Dreams can fade so fast. Don't I know it.
The cramping started on the weekend. The dark discharge followed. The ultrasound introduced her to a new, foreign world of pain.
There was no heartbeat.
In an instant, everything changed.
I spoke with my brave girl over the phone. She is scheduled for a D & C today. "Maybe it was for the best" she whimpered.
"I don't buy that shit Sammy, it's not for the best darling. It's unfair, it sucks, it's heartbreaking" I told her with some authority.
"I don't buy that shit either" she confessed. "My baby died and it hurts so bad"

Girlfriend, I am so, so sorry. So sorry.

16 Comments:

Blogger Julie said...

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss.

11/11/05  
Blogger Tiff said...

I am just glad that she has such a good friend to get her through this. I am sorry for her loss.

11/11/05  
Blogger Kath said...

I am really sorry for your friends loss. And I don't buy into that crap either.

11/11/05  
Blogger Ova Girl said...

So sorry to read this Mony. My thoughts are with your friend. And it's not fair, of course it isn't. Look after her. It's good she has you as a friend.

11/11/05  
Anonymous thalia said...

Oh Mony, I'm so sorry your friend had to experience this pain.

13/11/05  
Blogger Burnt Karma said...

Oh f,,,,

I never bought that "for the best" shit either.
((((((hugs)))))))

No words can dull the horrible ache at this time. It's awful and it is unfair.

(((((hugs)))))

13/11/05  
Blogger betty said...

That is a sad story. She is lucky to have you as a friend to support her through this.

13/11/05  
Blogger heleen said...

O, that is so sad. Tell her we are all thinking of her.

14/11/05  
Blogger LabiaLady said...

Fuck it...
Hey, your comment to your dear friend is just about the perfect response to such an awful situation that I've ever read...

You are a very cool friend indeed!...

14/11/05  
Blogger Susie said...

What a sad story - life really does "suck" at times.

She is so lucky she has a lovely friend

16/11/05  
Anonymous Crystal said...

wow. sending good thoughts.

16/11/05  
Blogger Sandy said...

I second the comment that your response was perfect. You know, and if there is any blessing in this lousy experience, it's being blessed with a friend who knows.

19/11/05  
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