In a Heartbeat

Sammy & I have been good friends for many, many years. We grew up right across the road from each other. We went from Kindy right through to High School together. She always, always makes me laugh. Hysterically. She's my girl.

Sammy married my cousin. After all our years as friends, we eventually became real family! Her 2 children are teenagers now and it is bizarre to see her with such grown kids. We are the same age, but our lives have years between them.
Sam surprised us (and herself!) a few weeks ago when she discovered she was pregnant. Completely unplanned, unexpected......the perfect "Oops" baby. She felt soooo old to be doing this baby thing again. It was hilarious for me to hear! I am still considered young in IF circles, yet she felt so old. As the thought of a new baby settled with her & her husband, the excitement crept in. Unchallenged & consuming. She told me that they lay awake at night talking about the future & making up silly names for the new baby.
Her delight was infectious. A BABY!
"We might even be pregnant together" I told her. Suddenly we were two teenagers again, planning out the years ahead. "Oh, that would be so unreal" she genuinely replied.
Dreams can fade so fast. Don't I know it.
The cramping started on the weekend. The dark discharge followed. The ultrasound introduced her to a new, foreign world of pain.
There was no heartbeat.
In an instant, everything changed.
I spoke with my brave girl over the phone. She is scheduled for a D & C today. "Maybe it was for the best" she whimpered.
"I don't buy that shit Sammy, it's not for the best darling. It's unfair, it sucks, it's heartbreaking" I told her with some authority.
"I don't buy that shit either" she confessed. "My baby died and it hurts so bad"

Girlfriend, I am so, so sorry. So sorry.