Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Tears, Cheers & Fears

......I've been a little lost for words.
Not entirely unusual for me. I am a quite person. I love peace. I enjoy an empty room.
I admit it, sometimes I even hide from visitors. We have the "ACME Home-Body Dream Gizmo" installed in our kitchen. It is a video monitor that beams a live picture of our front porch. It activates when someone rings the door bell. You can see who's there & then decide if you want to answer it! Sometimes my husband and I peer at the screen & whisper to each other "Shhh....pretend we're not home!" Naughty!

So, everything is fine, wonderfully fine. I've just been hiding out. Like a wombat. Only hairier.

I have been doing my usual blog reading. Daily. Sometimes twice a day. There is so much happening around IF circles. There always is. As typical there's good news & not-so-good news & downright awful news. It's a real lucky dip, isn't it?
Quite a few new announcements of pregnancy! Some surprise ones too! This brings me such a thrill!! It reminds me that "It Happens!" and it might happen to us too! It's always such a hopeful thing. Congratulations to all the new graduates!
Then there is the flipside. More announcements of failed cycles. Of spotting & cramping. Of heartbreak. I truly feel for anyone who has to face that.
Although it is all a part of this hideous IF rollercoaster, it must be crushing to learn that you are the one who has taken the backward step. My heart reaches out to those couples. Sometimes I wonder how I would cope in similar circumstances. Could I face the pain? Could I breathe through the disappointment? Would I ever stop crying? I suppose that's why I keep reading. To learn off those who have stepped before me. To read the words of someone who can say "That happened to me. Here is my story. These are my feelings. Here is my advice" It's always a powerful thing to have allies & support. So very critical when faced with these experiences.
And of course, there have been arrivals.
The long awaited birth of Grrl's son. And some serious nail-biting moments. I am still sweating on an update, as I'm sure you all are. I just want to hear that he's home & everything is wonderful. The arrival posts are always the best!

I am completely recovered from my surgery. I feel friggin' terrific. Go figure. The recipe to good health was so simple. Carefully remove 2 x chronicly infected fallopian tubes & stir. Bake madame on low heat for 6 days. Turn patient onto wire cake cooler. Serves 2. Enjoy! Yum!

Our IVF appointment is fast approaching. Less than 2 weeks now. I know I will have lots more to write about during that time.

Thank you for all the lovely comments left on my last post.
It was very healing to have such comforting messages. I really appreciated it.
Take care out there. All of you.

19 Comments:

Blogger Drew said...

Dude you just hang in there!

Great to see you are feeling terrific - always nice to go into a fresh cycle with a clean state of mind and a good, healthy body.

Take care!

29/7/05  
Blogger Sandy said...

Glad to see you back in action, and where can I get me one of those fancy acme camera thingies????

29/7/05  
Anonymous thalia said...

Glad to see you back, I've been missing your elegant writing. I totally empathise with hiding from visitors - I don't get the chance to do that but am famous for call screening!

29/7/05  
Blogger Em said...

Great to hear from you. I am going to get the tubes checked out - I just don't understand why they would be blocked. Glad to hear you feel fab. What was the cause of your blocked tubes?

30/7/05  
Blogger Mellie said...

I'm so excited for you and your approachng IVF cycle. Glad that you feel in top spirits. And you take care of yourself too!

30/7/05  
Blogger Burnt Karma said...

It's a daunting time, and there will be plenty of hurdles ahead. Somehow, during this time, you will find a well of inner strength to get you and hubbs through it.

Good luck, and may your journey to pregnancy and parenthood be a quick one.

30/7/05  
Blogger WonderMama said...

I'm so glad you are feeling so good after your surgery! And I'm very jealous of your shwanky new camera!!

I loved this post, and many parts of it really hit home.

You are so right about the power of having allies and support while struggling with the ups and downs of IF. Especially the downs.

31/7/05  
Blogger Sara said...

Good luck with your appointment!

31/7/05  
Blogger shell said...

so glad you are okay. I was getting so worried. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you darlin' if anyone deserves to get pregnant it's you! hugs
shell

31/7/05  
Blogger Ova Girl said...

Hear hear Mony, the good news is good news for everyone and the bad news never fails to cause a gasp. Very glad you are feeling so well after your surgery. Power on, IVF!

31/7/05  
Blogger Chee Chee said...

I'm so glad you're doing better (and your posting again!) Good luck with the appt.

1/8/05  
Blogger Internal Spring said...

I'm glad you're feeling better after your surgery and can't wait until you jump on the IVF bandwagon.

1/8/05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Mony,
were you like me and think that you might have lost a few lb's after the removal, of huge, fluid filled tubes? I didn't lose any weight... must have had something to do with the post operative chocolate and chips that I stuffed in my face.. good luck with your appt. MollyD

1/8/05  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey Mony,
were you like me and think that you might have lost a few lb's after the removal, of huge, fluid filled tubes? I didn't lose any weight... must have had something to do with the post operative chocolate and chips that I stuffed in my face.. good luck with your appt. MollyD

1/8/05  
Blogger just sayin' said...

Good luck to you. Glad you're writing.

1/8/05  
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