Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Friday, September 01, 2006

100 Things......or "I Ripped Of The Smarsh"

Stare away pilgrims.
It's daunting, I know. Secretly I have wanted to do one of these list for-evah. I was inspired to bare my soul after delving into the Smarsh files. At first I panicked. Maybe I don't have 100 things? Guffawf !! Turns out I have 7,036 things. Obnoxious, I am not. So I scaled it down to the customary 100. Will you learn something new about someone old? Enjoy me. Go on, I insist.

100 Things...

My name means "Obedient"...just don't tell me what to do, alrighty?
2. I have never broken a bone.
3. In 1991 a clairvoyant revealed that I would have 2 children of the same sex.
4. I wrote down her prophecy. It has embedded hope deep within my soul.
5. My favourite perfume is Lou-Lou.
6. I hate shopping. All kinds. Even Shoe.
7. I was School Captain.
8. I had an x-rated, passionate, disturbing teenage crush on Rob Lowe.
9. I love playing Darts.
10. I hate rollercoasters, but cannot resist riding.
11. Never had my bikini line waxed. I'm petrified of a girl getting that close to me.
12. INXS "The Swing" was the 1st album I ever purchased with my own money.
13. Of all the adorable baby animals my fav. is a spinning, mock charging baby Rhino.
14. I am kick-arse accomplished at the art of Calligraphy.
15. I have never started or operated a lawnmower, by choice.
16. I am very good at keeping a secret.
17. Attending/Hosting the Sydney 2000 Olympics remains a key highlight of my adult life.
18. I detest Wine. Pass the Beer.
19. I read the newspaper everyday.
20. In 1978 I saved a childhood friend from drowning. I spied his blonde hair, still & submerged underwater.
21. I called to the adults who frantically came, rushing the limp body to shore with seconds to spare.
22. I don't like The Doors, Elvis or The Beatles.
23. I hid my 1st tattoo from my Mum for 12 months. The 2nd one didn't matter so much.
24. I wear my Great Grandmother's Rose Gold Wedding Band, it is still perfect.
25. I think Back-Up Singers are the epitome of totally fucking cool.
26. I love looking at my Atlas/World Globe. I know where lots of countries are on the map.
27. I have never seen a dead body.
28. I am terrifed of the surf & open ocean. Except if I'm floating on a Smurf's Thundertube.
29. I have been a bridesmaid TEN times.
30. I have never been in a fist fight. But I reckon I'd do alright in a rumble.
31. I have never been booked, arrested, sacked or out of work.
32. For the past 10 years I have worked in the automotive industry. Folks love their cars.
33. My Boss is my Brother.
34. The winning Lotto numbers came to me in a dream. I woke up & wrote them down.
35. For years I have played them. They still haven't come up, not even nearly.
36. WWII fascinates me. I never grow tired of learning more about it.
37. I have had my heart broken badly once.
38. I find Utes very sexy. Men driving Utes even sexier. My husband drives a V8 Ute.
39. Best Xmas pressie ever: White Boot Skates + long socks emblazoned with John Travolta's head.
40. I once dated a guy because he knew all the words to my favourite Pearl Jam song.
41. I once broke up with a guy because I loathed his new purple car.
42. My favourite drinking song to sing out loud "Could I Have Been So Blind" Black Crowes.
43. I missed my estranged father's funeral. My Aunt buried him without telling us he had passed away.
44. My brother's & I will never forgive my Aunt for her decision.
45. I only ever had Blonde boyfriends until I met my brunette husband.
46. My husband only ever had Blonde girlfriends until he met his brunette wife.
47. Blondes do not have more fun.
48. Sarcasm is my favourite kind of humour.
49. Looking back at my school photo's I can name every teacher & classmate I ever had.
50. I walked down the aisle to "All I Want Is You" by U2.
51. My brother gave me away. I did not cry despite my acceptance that I would.
52. My husband & I exited the chapel to "Tunnel Of Love" by Dire Straits.
53. Our Bridal Waltz was to "Your Love Is King" by Sade
54. I was present at my godson's birth. It was a frightening, gobsmacking honour.
55. I went to my first nightclub when I was 13 years old.
56. I can't dance sober. I get embarressed.
57. I can however, Moonwalk whilst drunk. A spectacle I torture my poor friends with, often.
58. I want to spend time in Scotland, Portugal & North Queensland.
59. I had a 1 night stand with a fella who I met up with again 6 years later....and married.
60. The 1st live concert I attended was Culture Club. Tragically I went dressed as Boy George.
61. I have been in the back of a Police Paddy Wagon hurling corners at high speed.
62. Besides the likely criminal sitting opposite, there is nothing to grip or cling onto.
63. I think there is something wonderful about the 1st sleep you have in a new pair of Pyjama's.
64. I love watching Mad Max I & II.
65. There was no-one cooler than Max. Leathered, battered & handsome.
66. I met Russell Crowe after he performed in a Sydney production of "The Blues Brothers".
67. He signed my ticket "Russell Loves Mony".
68. I had my autograph laminated the next day for safe keeping. The heat turned the ticket black & unreadable.
69. I own a hilariously neurotic Staffordshire Terrier, named Janis.
70. I support the Parramatta Eels. A Sydney Rugby League team. They wear Blue & Gold.
71. I once rode atop a Camel. His slobbering mate, tethered behind bit me on the back. I hate Camels.
72. My husband and I both have dimples, dark hair & green eyes. Some have assumed we are siblings.
73. My favourite nature documentary is "Heart of a Lioness". Watch it should you have the chance.
74. I loved Young Talent Time. Applying lipgloss during commercials guaranteed a smooth sing-a-long.
75. I have never been on a Road Bike. I think I should like to be a passenger one day.
76. I love the word Soap. It is so neat & squeaky clean.
77. I laugh at the word Wobble. Say it 5 times fast.
78. I am scared of and avoid the word Municipality.
I have a secret fantasy of flashing my bare breasts to the crowd at a large sporting event.
80. I would like to be a Signwriter.
81. In a Caryard.
82. I would take Hot Chips over a Cream Cake anyday.
83. I have 15 fantastic first cousins.
84. One is gay.
85. We are the only 2 who remain childless
86. I love current affairs.
87. I am constantly sending opinionated letters of outrage and praise to Editors.
88. They never publish me.
89. I want to do the "Bridge Climb" over Sydney Harbour Bridge one day.
90. I think a sleek, black, plunging halter neck 1-piece cozzie is sexier than any bikini.
91. I am in awe of anyone who can deliver a Eulogy.
92. I can't play cards. Not any card games. Must change this.
93. I have an older and a younger brother.
94. I had many a crush on the elder one's mates. Alas, they only saw me as the "little sister".
95. The younger one's mates had crushes on me. Of course I only saw them as "little boys".
96. I have a long running email friendship with a chick from Michigan.
97. She calls me every so often & thinks I sound like a Spice Girl. She's accent ignoramus.
98. I would love to hang out with Dave Grohl. And Dane Cook. And Pink. On the same night.
99. My favourite member of KISS was Peter Criss, the drummer.
100. I wish more people read my blog & left lots of comments. I'm needy.


Blogger Andrew said...

1. I find most of these lists dull.
2. Yours definitely isn't.
3. Re #100, I'm only one more reader, but at least I'm here leaving a comment :o)

To Love, Honor and Dismay

Anonymous Anonymous said...

very cool list. I enjoy reading it :)

Anonymous Carrie P said...

There's a lot of verve & energy in the way you write. I'm touched that you say you're needy - I think you're great ;-)

Blogger Lut C. said...

I have a short span of attention. I'll have to come back and read it in 10 portions. ;-)

Blogger SmarshyBoy said...

Awesome list! I feel like I know you much better now. A couple things:
1) I laughed out loud at least 6 times while reading it
2) I stole the list idea from A Dad Someday's blog
3) Now I really wish I had named my blog "The Smarshy Files", and I think I still may
4) Peter Criss lived in my hometown in CT! I used to stalk his house until one day he came out and signed my hand
5) What the F is a "ute"?
6) I wonder if Andrew from the first comment above found my list "dull"
7) I read your blog every single day, I love it and I get PISSED at you when you don't update it.

Blogger Piccinigirl said...

you rock Mony!!!! there's a book in there somewhere. :)

Blogger Krista said...

I love these lists, makes me feel like I've known you so much longer:

1.calligraphy and beer ??? interesting combination
2.10 fucking times? that's a lot of $ on bridesmaid dresses
3.I've seen a dead body (worked for a summer with the police)- trust me you are better off
4.I would never ever ever forgive that Aunt
5.married a 1 night stand 6 years later - there's definetely a story waiting to be told there
6.I read your blog every single day (or at least check to see if you've updated)

Blogger N said...

ha ha ha ha. We are so different Mony, which makes it interesting, right?

1) I had some laminating accidents myself, never involving Russel Crow though.
2) What's it with the beer....eeew. I love wine. We complement each other.
3) I only ever dated dark haired men until I met my husband (on the internet, not photo) he's so scandinavian blonde.

That's it, we're different but I love you anyways!



Blogger N said...

Oh, and being's been a while you were over at my place, hasn't it?

Just kidding...

Blogger heleen said...

When I am in Australia let's go out and have beers together :~)
My handreader couldn't tell me how many children, she said: one, maybe two. Amazing huh?

Blogger Meg said...

Mony - here, a comment. Thanks for your nice ones over at my place. A spectacular list, too, by the way.

Blogger Tiff said...

haha, thanks, I am gonna laugh every time I hear someone say 'wobble' now. My only problem with this list? It needed to go to 200! ;)

Blogger My Reality said...

I found you listed on The Smarshy Files and clicked my way on over here.

My first concert was also the Culture Club. Luckily, I was not dressed as Boy George!

Great list.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rob Lowe, the rumble assumption, the Pearl Jam romance, and blondes not having more fun all made me smile.

Boy George and Wobble made me laugh out loud -- so much so it startled the puppy.

I'm proud of you for saving the blond boy.

I'm shocked that you don't like The Beatles or Elvis (the Doors suck).

Your inconsiderate auntie made me sad.

I've never had my fortune told. I'm too scared about what I may be told. I claim that I don't believe in clairvoyance, but deep down... I hope you have your two.

Anonymous kiwi said...

Loved reading your list. Very funny and interesting. I like learning to know people a little more with short sentences.

Blogger Thalia said...

A fortune teller in India told me that i'd die when I'm older than 87, and that I'd have two daughters. Hahahahah.

Blogger theoneliner said...

Oh, I love the honesty. I'm a needy blogger too.

I don't like shopping either...but my dislike does not extend to shoe shoe shopping. What the? How the?

i love that you married a one night stand...i think it makes for a great marriage.

Not that it's a contest, but that is the funniest 100 things list i've read. (sorry smarshy...she's funnier. j/k. sort of).

thanks funny girl.

Anonymous Erin said...

A fortune teller once told me that my relationship with the man standing outside of her booth, waiting for me, wouldn't last much longer. I had taken off my engagement ring before going in, just to see what she would make of that. We've been together for over 8 years since then, more than 7 of them married. I think she might have been off. But I hope yours wasn't.

I decided to come out of lurkdom because I identified with your #100 (as well as many others)--I'm also very needy for comments!

Blogger Sparkle said...

How funny!

Hey, please promise to let your bloggy friends know - before you flash. Ummm the Ashes is coming up?

Blogger SmarshyBoy said...

Hey Mony!

Sorry, did I wake you?

I'm just wondering if you had any plans to get out of bed and UPDATE YOUR F'ING BLOG. It's like old milk left out on the counter passed it's expiration date. It's starting to stink.

Or, were you planning on leaving this as your final post, simply because it has been deemed by one of your fans as funnier than mine?

You win: You got more comments than me, yours was funnier than mine, and Andrew did not find yours dull. So time to put down the vegemite and refresh your blog before the new year.

Blogger Em said...

I feel like I know you so much better. Don't take this as a bad thing, because I think it is so cool, but you are a bogan chick! I love it.

Blogger Susie said...

Hi Mony,

i am a first time poster.. I have been reading your blog for months. Loved the list.. and was motivated to post from #100

Blogger theoneliner said...

i think i pissed smarshy off!!

smarshy, I'll do my 100 and you'll see that i'm not funny at all. Really. And the sad, sad, thing is i really try to be funny. It's quite pathetic.

Smarshy...i was really just trying to flatter mony (to get her to update her freakin' blog and b/c like me, and as she said, she's needy) at your expense.

don't hate me.

Blogger Mony said...

....No! Do not fear! It's an ongoing joke between us. Don't worry toots! Smarsh thinks peer pressure with get me to blog more regularly, but we both know I scoff at peer pressure.


Blogger SmarshyBoy said...

Oh, I'll get you to blog more, as soon as I can pry you away from that case of Victoria Bitter.

TheOneLiner, yes, it is a joke, I wasn't sure if you could tell...I was 100% joking. Your comment made me sad, I was afraid I had hurt your feelings.

See Mony? See what happens when you don't update your blog? How many more innocent people have to be hurt before you update this thing?

Blogger ellie said...

Nice 100. I love reading these- it is a break from reading about IF topics-- and yeah, 100 seems like alot til you start writing- and then as you found-- lots of stuff to say!

Blogger theoneliner said...

all is well.
i'm a cranky attorney (especially lately). most of the time it's hard to hurt my feelings.

Blogger Ali said...

I loved your list, very entertaining. I wrote one of my own and think of 5 more things everyday that I could add to it.
I will be back to read more, needy or not you're one funny chick.

Blogger Just another Jenny said...

It's a good thing you don't work with me - we insure Municipalities. You could work with my husband though - he owns an auto shop/used car lot. I never get tired of hearing more about you sexy gal!

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