Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Licence To Exhibit Woe

Annually I undertake a pilgrimage that strikes me down with dread & vexation.
Renewing my Drivers Licence at RTA.
The RTA experience rarely changes. Upon entering the building you survey the hoardes of irritated civilians and sigh, heavily. You take a number & shuffle to the far end of the open planned hell hole. You have 2 seating options. There's a vacant seat next to a hairy fellow sporting a grimy singlet OR one between a surly lass and her wild offspring. You stare as her cherubs scale the information stands & snatch handfuls of glossy leaflets before laying on the carpet and rolling the length of the room.
I decide to stand.
And the wait begins.

With a new licence comes a wonderful opportunity to have your picture taken by a highly untrained photographer. No matter how hard you to try to smile & appear human, your new ID will transform you into a unimpressed ghoul. I gave up brushing my hair & applying make up prior to licence photo years ago. It's in vain. Last year I turned up sporting a cap. When I was asked to remove the hat I imagined how gorgeous my slicked hair must look. True to form my ID made me look like a unimpressed ghoul with a drug problem and hat head.

It is customary to leave the building, blood draining from your face as you study your new fugly picture. You hope you can get through 12 months without having to show it to anyone.

And each year I think the same thing. Please let me be pregnant before my licence is up for renewal next year. Please.
I might still look ghoulish but am certain I will appear profoundly more impressed.


Blogger LabiaLady said...

lol! In my latest licence photo, I look cross-eyed and slightly deranged AND it's a 10 year licence, (10 YEARS, I tells ya).

Blogger Sparkle said...

Same Same

Don't you love that feeling every Christmas too?

Blogger Meg said...

Yes, I was about to say that.. ten year licences... a nightmare.

Actually the big place in Melb has started overexposing the license photos. Tres flattering.. no blemishes.

Blogger Krista said...

My husband tells me that my last license photo makes me look ..... I can't remember if he says deranged or pyscho but you get the picture.

I once handed it to the boarder guard on the way into the US and he gigled. And it is good for 8 years.

And yet I am glad that I do not have to go do it again right away.

Blogger Piccinigirl said...

our agony is only every 4 years, but every time I am haunted by the stupid picture for a full four years.

hoping this year brings better pics and news!!!

Blogger SmarshyBoy said...

Yay! Mony's back! We missed you Mony.

Can you please scan your license picture and post it? You cant go on about it without letting us see the picture. I'll do it if you will.

Blogger Lut C. said...

We never have to renew our driver's licence (unless you lose it).

Once, my grandfather showed me his driver's licence, and there he was a dashing young man.

Anyway, the milestones are hard, whatever shape or form they take.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once had a license photo that was SO BAD everytime I showed it to a cashier or bartender it caused a double-take and laughter.

Blogger Just another Jenny said...

Thankfully we only have to do the new picture about every 6yrs in Canada but the photography skills aren't any better here.

The pregnancy milestones can hurt. I'm sad that yours involves such a miserable event at the RTA.

Blogger Ova Girl said...

Once when I got my new licence (for 5 years) I was so horrified with the photo (it was my own fault, I had my hair in a wierd way and it made me look like I was growing a beard) that I actually rang the RTA after a couple of weeks and complained that my licence had not arrived. They insisted they had sent it and I said it hadn't turned up. So they called me back in for another licence. This time I did my hair properly, wore makeup and smiled when the photo was taken. I'm not saying it was a pinup shot but I was glad that I had taken the time to LIE LIKE A FIEND.

Blogger Mellie said...

Oh Mony - it's those yearly rituals that seem to exacerbate the fact that more time has gone and one still isn't where one wants to be. I'm so sorry that it was a bloody visit to the RTA that had to remind you this time. And I'm so sorry that you have to deal with the renewal process every year!

Blogger Alli said...

LOL - does anyone ever get a good license picture?!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here here! I hate any "anniversary" of any type. Birthday, Christmas, death of grandma, dog, goldfish. Even when I use flyspray on the ants/flies. My thoughts are with you, and you go girl, you've got more guts than me!!


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