Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Gratitude & Profanity

Disclaimer: To the small (but very sexy) bunch of readers who know me in REAL LIFE...this info is classified. We are not sharing these details openly. So, please feel free to talk to me or P about it, but until further notice button your plump, risque lips. Thank you darlings, B L K M and Corindi Crew....please continue!

I guess the golden rule is: "Never Assume"
Not just with IVF, or 20 fertilised eggs, or a BFP, or the 2nd trimester..or you know, the weather. Life is a stream of possibilities. You just never know what tomorrow will bring. I cannot express the comfort & sensibility your comments have given me. Thank you for urging me to remain calm, to question my situation, to consider the many possible outcomes. My cousin, herself an IVF veteran gave birth to a darling, healthy girl on Wednesday, despite having a "High Risk" NT result just last December. I recall her anguish & my fury that she should be burdened with such an added worry. Good practice for my own situation.
My tired little fingers, worn from "Info-Witching" and ravaging the Google Bible have uncovered many, many websites that show IVF patients have a higher instance of "High Risk" blood results, possibly due to extended synthetic
progesterone use (more likely because we are such BITCHES and deserve further punishment!)
The fact that our ultrasound presented Hef with a nasal bone & a 2.0mm NT measurement is offering comfort. The NT scan itself provides a 75% accurate Down's gauge, while the blood test provides about 60%....the two combined with my age, Hef's crown to rump length & EDD are all taken into consideration to determine the "Risk" factor. There is only "Low" and "High" risk factors, no in-between.

I know my mood will sway over the next week. I am already considering not having the amnio. Talking to my doctor will help us make that decision. I believe the risk of miscarriage due to amnio is small. But endangering a potentially healthy baby is an agonising decision. This is true for any expectant parent. Whether they have waited 5 years and undergone 3 IVF treatments or not. It is not a decision we will take lightly.
Sigh. Fuck, it's all about being on the wrong side of the odds for us IF girls and boy
s isn't it? (Hello Smarsh, dude...!) We live with with odds stacked against us everyday. We rule the "Minority Gang" (in a very classy way). It all started when we became that 1 in 6 couples who needed ART. I went on to became that 1 in 1000 females to have a uterine anomaly... from there I descended into a vortex of odd beating mayhem. (Along with all of you RASCALS) And frankly, I'm dizzy.

Today, I know more about Nuchal Translucency than I ever muther-fucking wanted too.

Today, I know that Hef is alive.

Today, I know that
I have a pram on lay by & a box of baby clothes in the room next door.

Today, I know that I am stronger for having you incredible, caring, foxy, mind-blowing people in my life.
Today, I know that I cannot change tomorrow.

But please, don't fuck with me you Odds/Percentages & High Risk skanky pigs. I've seen your kind so many times before. Trust me, Odds/Percentages & High Risk Co....I will toss you to the curb with a wedgie, a crowpeck & a bitch slap. Cause, I'm tough. And so are my cyber friends...right?
Plus, our
Hef can do the Robot. And there is nothing abnormal about that, fuckers. Damn, I feel better. I may even perch my pregnant arse behind my drumkit & defiance. Just like this! Rock On!


Blogger Sarah said...

rock on indeed. best wishes as your wrangle with the amnio decision.

Blogger PCOSMama said...

I think some nice loud drumming is exactly what the doctor ordered! Keep drumming throughout your pregnancy, maybe you'll have a prodigy baby - a little drummer who can do the robot!!

Blogger Von said...

Swearing. Sooooooo comforting to the soul, is it not?

Keep the chin and the swearing up................


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You already have a prodigy baby. I hate statistics and odds. Ignore the numbers. Follow your heart. Good luck with the decision making... you'll be in my thoughts.

Blogger Isabel said...

May the very best happen. Please, God.

Blogger Stacie said...

You are right. No matter what the odds've already beat them and you will continue to beat them until your little rocker is here proving how wrong they were himself! I have faith that all is well and your little one is healthy and strong! Sending hugs and love your way!

Blogger Gemini Girl said...

Stay positive and keep G-D in your heart. That alone can get us through it all.
You are a tiger& are in my thoughts. Let us know how it goes.

Blogger Erin AKA Poopie said...

I am a lurker but I read your post often. I had this happen on both pregnancies, the "scare." I swear the doctors are just trying to scare the shit out of pregnant women. In my case, they read the NT test wrong, but then after 24 agonizing hours called me and said everything was fine, that the NT test is the most accurate, more accurate than blood tests. So I declined the blood test at that point. My second pregnancy my little man had 2 large cysts in his head. WTF? So it turned out that that can be normal, and they went away, but we had the genetics counselor, a level 2 ultrasound that measures everything carefully and everything was fine. So we declined the amnio. And he was fine too! But if you need it to feel better, then you should have it. But this little person fought hard to implant in your womb, and I am sure s/he is fine! XO

Rock On little Hef!


Blogger topcat said...

To dearest Mony,
I have been thinking and praying to universe for you and Hef this weekend.
I am loving your drumming photo. My hubbie is a drummer. Drummers ROCK and are COOL and have HEALTHY BEAUTIFUL BABIES. (Fuck statistics, odds, percentages, etc. If I followed statistics, I would be living in the gutter with a needle in my arm and a cock up my arse.) There. Bet I made you smile.

Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I so hope that everything is okay. Good luck with your amnio decision. Thinking of you.

Blogger millie said...

Rock on, indeed. I don't know anything at all about these tests but I do know that I hope you get some good news soon. Thinking of you.

Anonymous Matthew M. F. Miller said...

I'm in a rock band, too, and nothing makes me feel better than a good, hard practice. Great pic, btw, and thanks for stopping by my blog!

Blogger heleen said...

I just read your last two post and I feel all dizzy. Just when things were going so well. I hope you can cope. Wow, what can I say, hopeful that the scan is ok. Lots of courage.

Blogger topcat said...

Thinking of you Mony. I'm sure a helluva lot of people are all wishing you and Hef the warmest love and protection. Go gently. xoxoxoxoxoxxox
(And, sorry about my earlier v rude comment. Ahem.)

Blogger Ova Girl said...

Oh Mony. Am on the road and only now online.
I've got no great words, just hopeful thoughts and tightly crossed fingers. Rock on indeed.


Blogger singletracey said...

Just catching up in Blogland and ready to give some support to my pregnant and TTC IVF sisters while I take a break for the summer :-)

I sure hope everything is okay (for the record, my friend had the same thing happen and her adorable son JT is 3 and A-OK!!) Bang away on those drums.. ROCK ON!!!

Blogger Pixxiee said...

Funny - I know you through your blog only, but I love ya girl. And I love Hef too. And I just know that you are beating the odds. Hell. Rock on, you have a pram on layby for God's sake!

Hugs! And good vibes and thoughts and prayers.

Blogger The Oneliner (Christina) said...

hef is going to be just fine. screw the stupid test with all its false postives. our boy?gal? can do the robot!

Blogger Drew said...

Mony - I have a few friends who did the amnio and they were all fine afterwards, just feet up for a day or two as adviced. And I pray for great results for the amnio, those skanky pigs will have to fight me too if they even dare to think about giving you a bad result. I'm Chinese, so I know Kung Fu.

And you are looking real hot mate - those photos from couple of posts ago are lookin' goooooood. God I miss being pregnant.

Blogger Sara said...

That's the attitude! I'm going through a similar thing (bad results on the quad screen), and drew great cheer from your post in what has been otherwise not such a great day. Good luck to you & Hef!

Blogger Piccinigirl said...

I am keeping my fingers crossed and my prayers said that everything is going to be just fine.

I think that swearing and beating that drum might be in order. Good luck today. Sending lots of positive thoughts to you

Blogger Bugsy said...

Oh dear - well - you know our journeys were never supposed to be easy ones. I guess we just never thought they would be this hard huh. I am thinking of you and hoping like crazy that after more tests the odds weigh more in your favour. Take care and drum away! I think you need it!


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