Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Growing Up

My friend sat in my kitchen, surveyed the surrounding area and declared "I love your house. It's so......so grown up"
"Rea-lly?" I beamed. "Grown up! Wow! Who would have thought?"
I admit we have a lovely home. It is my pride & joy. I spent a long time furnishing, decorating & colour scheming every inch of it. I did a good job.
The reality is there are no kids to mess things up. You will not find a Red Elmo taunting the muted green kitchen, or a gaudy Wiggle to clash with my pebble tiles. There is no Lego scattered on my Mocca carpet. Not a grubby fingerprint on my sienna walls or Stainless steel appliances.
I babysat my 3 year old nephew last weekend for about 5 hours. He was an adorable arsehole. I was thoroughly abused for asking him too many questions. Did he want a drink? A bubblebath? A DVD? No. What he wanted was for me to stop asking sooooo many questions. Al-righty.
3 year olds are impossibly busy. And messy.
I screeched when he jumped on my chocolate brown leather sofa, squealed when he dribbled cordial on my cream floor tiles & followed him around like a bad smell clutching a dishcloth. He marked every surface. At least twice. Was it a territorial thing with 3 year olds I pondered?
Finding him behind my sheer venetian, pressed up against the front window, forehead resting on the glass was enough to make me whimper. I questioned if I really, really want kids afterall?

Yes. I do.
IVF number 3 looms next cycle. Our second FET. I am ready again. I think I would rather mop up Cordial than any more of my own tears.
The tears leave a nastier stain.
And soak up alot more Viva paper towel.

21 Comments:

Blogger Krista said...

Oh so so true. There are times when I question my stamina for parenting, especially after a weekend visit from my 4 year old cousin, but I know they don't start off 4 and that we can work our way up to that age. And I am tired of not getting there.

10/10/06  
Blogger theoneliner said...

My house is too neat and clean too. I can't wait until we can both complain about stepping over toys and how our little _________ has royally mucked up the entire house.

I hope this next cycle is the one for you.

10/10/06  
Blogger SmarshyBoy said...

Hey Mony! Nice to see you.

Before M and I had The Buggins, I didn't really like kids. They cried alot. They had boogers. They were LOUD. I have nephews who were so bad, we used to pretend we were sick so that we didn't have to visit them.

It's truly an amazing change when it's YOUR kid. in my experience, there is NO connection between how easily you tolerate kids before you have them and how well you tolerate your own kids. Buggin's boogers are sweet. (No, not sweet tasting, that's gross)

I am pulling for you in your next cycle!

10/10/06  
Blogger Just another Jenny said...

I had to learn about the marking all surfaces from my stepchildren. At first I thought they were just evil but then I had to remember all the crap my brothers and I destroyed.
I'm glad to hear your ready again, I can't wait until you get your orange belt.

11/10/06  
Blogger Piccinigirl said...

I could have written this post and totally agree, kids might be messy but I'm ready for it, welcome it, want it.
GOOD LUCK with this cycle, I'm crossing my fingers this is finally IT for you.

11/10/06  
Blogger serenity said...

Loving this post - I feel EXACTLY the same way. Can't wait to have all my surfaces mucked up by little hands...

11/10/06  
Blogger Lut C. said...

Long time, no post!

I'm not to keen on babysitting other people's kids, so I understand the feeling. My mom assuress me it's different with your own kids. I sure hope so. Otherwise I'm in for a rude awakening.

Good luck with the FET!!!

11/10/06  
Blogger Spanglish said...

Exciting times coming up... I hope this cycle marks the beginning of the end of your perfectly tidy, stylish, grown-up house. And the end of tear stains. I agree. Tear stains are the worst.

11/10/06  
Blogger Millie said...

Here's hoping the third times the charm. And the start of the soon-to-be messy house.

11/10/06  
Blogger LabiaLady said...

Smarshy is "pulling for you in your next cycle"....
*snigger*
sorry to mess up your adult home with childish, smutty comments...

Seriously, good luck with the FET

11/10/06  
Blogger Mel said...

I hope for nothing put positives baby! I totally know the feeling. We got a new cat, and every now and then she miss the pan. My husband gets miffed, but I say, it'll be 10 time messier with kids. The we forgive the cat, and look forward to that day. Just like you will next cycle. I am staying positive for you

11/10/06  
Blogger Drew said...

Mony - charge on to that 3rd cycle, you go gurfren.

11/10/06  
Anonymous shazz said...

Fingers crossed for the FET chic!!

14/10/06  
Blogger Sparkle said...

Far out, how many embryos did you get frozen? Awesome that you're going again soon.

15/10/06  
Blogger Thalia said...

That last line just slayed me:
"I think I would rather mop up Cordial than any more of my own tears."

Oh sweetie, I wish we had the power to make this happen for you. May there be much more cordial in your future.

15/10/06  
Blogger N said...

Why is it that I have to laugh about your posts everytime? It's good though. I love that your posts make me laugh. I laugh your writing :D.

So what's there for me to do now? Well, I will of c o u r s e keep my fingers so crossed for you! Nothing but good luck wishes over the big oceans.

Hugs!

16/10/06  
Anonymous spark said...

Great post! Hope this cycle works and you have lots & lots of cleaing ahead of you.

17/10/06  
Blogger heleen said...

I think longing for kids is a bit like longing for a partner when your single. At some stage you feel really ready to start something beautiful and new with a guy of your dreams. And once you've found this man you will indeed have these pink cloud moments. But as you know, relationships can be hard work, frustrating at times, you will have fights, nights of not talking, sometimes even walk away for a while.
Similar with babies. I adore them, they are beautiful, I love them to bits but they can be hard work and frustrating, I often don't understand then, they wear me out, they make me cry, they make me look bad and make my tits hang. But it's a very special relationship and I couldn't live without them.
Yep my babies could definitely trash my house... I just cleaned up a fair pile of poo. Looking forward to the cordial phase.
Goodluck with your fet Mony!

17/10/06  
Blogger Pixxiee said...

Too funny really. Those of us with tidy houses wish for babies to mess them up! Of course, I have eased my way into one day being a parent by being mother to two cats and one dog! My house has never looked the same...and I am pretty darn sure my hubby is messier than any toddler!

Best wishes for the FET hon...I'll be thinking of you.

17/10/06  
Blogger Beagle said...

Loved this post as well. Could have written it too, though my appliances generally have paw prints already.

Every time a small child hits that fever pitch screech in a grocery store, my insides clench and I wonder whether this means I will be a bad mom.

I think a switch flips that allows you to think that your own is more somehow, more loveable for sure. I also think (for me anyway), the aversion is a kind of protection for my aching heart that wants a three year old to boss me around more than anything else in the world!

19/10/06  
Blogger Em said...

My husband is a bit Monica from Friends and it will be interesting to see what happens when our kid starts messing things up. I must get some decorating tips from you. The house sounds beautiful and I am sure the chaos and mess when you have your kids will be just as enjoyable for you! Roll on 3rd cycle.

19/10/06  

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