Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Curious Cats

I am actually surprised by how many people (even strangers) ask if I have learnt whether I'm having a Girl or Boy. I didn't realise how regular it was to find out before the birth.

After our Amnio we were given the option of learning Hef's gender. We declined. After our 20 week scan we were again given the option. Again we declined.
Of course in my heart I have a feeling...based on nothing but my imagination! I feel Hef is a girl. That naturally means one thing: Hef will be a boy because I am HOPELESS at guessing!

My best friend tells me I am carrying a girl because of my width. The lady at the sandwich shop tells me it's a boy because I eat lots of chicken & beetroot sandwiches. It is funny!

Would it be, or was it important for you to find out if your bump was Pink or Blue?

30 Comments:

Blogger My Reality said...

Just because you didn't want to know doesn't mean we aren't curious! ;)

30/7/07  
Blogger The Dunn Family said...

Since we were having twins, I really wanted to know to try to prepare better. I know a lot of people who didn't find out the sex, but I must admit, I didn't have the patience!

30/7/07  
Blogger Stacie said...

I am not one for patience, either. I can't wait to find out what I am having!

I do admire it when parents don't find out what the gender is before birth. One part of me does think it would be neat to be surprised. Plus, I would think it would be neat to see if your intuition was correct!

30/7/07  
Blogger Heather said...

I don't think it is important - knowing it is healthy is what is important. BUT, I would definitely have to know. I'm too nosy and impatient to wait it out.

30/7/07  
Blogger Dramalish said...

When people ask why I wanted to know Daisy's sex before her birth, I give the same answer that I give when people asked why I had an epidural:

Because I CAN!

I'm far to curious to know that I *could* have found out but didn't. I think it's great for those moms and dads who want the extra added surprise, but to be perfectly honest, I don't think I could have squeezed an ounce more thrill into the moment I first held my little one.

To each her own, darling Mony. It's fun to guess who is in there, that's for sure. :)
-D.

PS:
I guess boy!

30/7/07  
Blogger topcat said...

Well, if I happen to get an egg retrieved, fertilised, and transferred (with hubbies back-from-the-grave sperm) .... and then it sticks .... well, no. I wouldn't find out either. I think there's so few surprises left in life. Especially in IVF! :)

ps I think Hefs a boy too.

30/7/07  
Blogger Bugsy said...

I am with you sister! Everyone asks me too, and we also declined to find out. They then say "oh you know, you just don't want to tell me" like I am lying to them or something. My sister said I am carrying a boy because I am all out on front, a chinese customer said she sees a girl. I must admit I am curious but holding out for the fairytale "it's a girl/boy" thing.

I am thinking boy but maybe because deep down I would really love a girl, and I am telling myself boy so I don't get disappointed. i really don't actually care but I remember my mother saying "sons are lovely but there is nothing like daughters".

Now the waiting game for both of us begins. I wonder if Hef will be a boy or a girl? it is exciting guessing and wondering isn't it!

30/7/07  
Blogger Gemini Girl said...

Im sure you posted this because of my question the other day. I feel that Hef is a girl... I am usually dead on about this with other people.
I will def find out (have an app next week and will hopefully be able to find out). I dont think I could stand the surprise. I need to get myself menatlly prepared. I know that dosnt make any sense, but I dont think I can handle the anticipation.

30/7/07  
Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

After 3 years of infertility, an ammnio scare and the horrible wait.......

If the Dr had said I was a having a COW, and it was healthy, I would have said...

Thank god it's healthy.

Our Dr did however blurt out from the ammnio results what we were having.
The beautiful thing was, that when Ty was born an hour and half later later the Midwife asked us if we had checked what the baby was ?.
Yes...True.. we were just so wrapped up in that birth bubble we never thought to check.

30/7/07  
Blogger SaraS-P said...

I had a friend who opted not to know until the birth, but she kept getting strong "boy" intuition. And she was right.

You never know, you may be a good guesser in one area.

30/7/07  
Blogger SmarshyBoy said...

You Aussies and your beetroots. Blech.

Here's my take on your topic du jour:

The day of birth is so amazing, that all you can think about is that he / she is here, that he/she has 10 fingers and 10 toes, and the actual sex of the baby becomes almost an afterthought - it doesn't get much atention, specifically. So our philosophy was, why not extract that moment out of that day and make it it's own day, so there become TWO amazing exciting days.

Plus, just in terms of planning, it's MUCH easier to know ahead of time. Just my 2 cents.

31/7/07  
Blogger Piccinigirl said...

yep, we're finding out, as soon as we can. For me, well I've a bad habit of reading the end of books first,,so no surprise I wanted no suprises. It took Mr Kir a little while in the beginning when we started trying, but now he wants to know too, he knows that after all this "stuff" of not knowing we'd both really like to have something that we "KNOW" for sure.

Good for you for not finding out, and I believe it's a girl too...she's tough and sweet just like her mommy :)

31/7/07  
Blogger Heather said...

I wanted to know for the first one, because I wanted a girl so badly. I have no idea why. No one ever said I was rational. DH didn't want to know, so at first we agreed not to find out. But then we had the complications and we had amnio done. We agreed we at least wanted this baby to have a name, in case anything bad happened along the way. So we found out we were having a girl and picked a name we both adore. Six years later and she still has me on cloud nine. Now I want a second one and could care less which it is. I'd love to have a boy, but she's made having a girl so much fun, I wouldn't mind another.

31/7/07  
Blogger lucky #2 said...

Before my IF troubles, I always wanted to wait to know until the delivery. After our struggles, I knew that I wanted to share that moment of discovery with my DH without the pain of delivery involved. I also liked finding out because then I could enjoy telling people since I knew on the delivery day my DH would be the one making the phone calls, etc. I guess I wanted to share in their immediate excitement. Delivery day is exciting enough!

I also liked knowing for planning purposes (only one name to figure out) and also I liked "bonding" with her beforehand. I liked calling her by her name when she kicked me! I was just as surprised at 20 weeks than I would have been at 40 weeks!

Either way, it is all a miracle & so fun!

31/7/07  
Blogger Irish Girl said...

Hells bells, NO! Infertility takes away so much of the "surprise" element of the pregnancy experience that I would prefer to at least leave one surprise in tact.

Though, this is coming from a girl who can't even wait until mid-december to open her christmas gifts. So ... whether we would actually make it all the way to the birth? Especially given more than one opportunity? *shrug*

(I guess BOY! for you, Mony!)
((how exciting!!!))

31/7/07  
Blogger Emmakirst said...

I never found out with my first 3, but for my last one and this one I found out. I just knew this pregnancy I was having a boy and 2 weeks ago, I was right.

All that matters is that the baby is healthy, it's fun to ask though ;)

31/7/07  
Blogger Lut C. said...

I wanted to keep it a surprise, but my husband really wants to know. I'm giving him his way to encourage him feeling more involved in the process.
Too bad the baby isn't willing to cooperate, at the last scan he/she kept his/her legs firmly crossed.

And if we do find out next time, we're keeping a lid on it. :-)

31/7/07  
Blogger Sparkle said...

I follow the Smarsh logic. Two special days.

But I also had v.strong intuition and was right - but we're not telling anyone.

I'm always amazed how many people don't want to find out.

31/7/07  
Blogger PCOSMama said...

I just couldn't stand not knowing. We looked forward to our mid-pregnancy ultrasound so much because we were dying to know if it's a boy or a girl. We get to make 2 separate big announcements - the sex when we find out, and then the name when he/she is born. It's also great for planning - the first time around we knew to register for mainly girly stuff, with some neutrals for variety, and now this time we know to weed out all the pink/girly stuff and replenish with boy stuff.

But that's just us - everyone has their own reasons for these things. I know people who have chosen to be surprised and I've never heard one of them say they regretted it. If you want to wait, I say go for it. More power to ya if you can wait that long!

31/7/07  
Blogger Infertili-Me said...

Hubby and I really wanted to find out. We were almost positive that B was a girl but B was being quite shy. Finally, Hubby just decided that he couldn't wait any longer. He has 3 daughters from his first marriage (all grown and out of the house) and the thought that he might have 5 daughters was putting ideas of lighting himself on fire and running up and down the block into his head. Thank God we have a male dog or Hubby would be really outnumbered. We finally saw the little boy junk and Hubby and I both cried. Our little boy will be the only male heir to his family name. Now everything is just feeling complete. A little girl on the way, a little boy on the way, and a content hubby. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I could have been suprised in the delivery room but know I am better able to plan and the little ones arem't doomed to wearing yellow and green their first year of life.

31/7/07  
Blogger Sarah said...

i think not finding out is really cool, we have a friend who recently took that route and the surprise was really fun for us all. for me i wanted to know because it was so hard to believe in this pregnancy after all the years of infertility, and i hoped it would make it feel more real. it did and didn't.

31/7/07  
Blogger Spanglish said...

I want to find out. I am giddy with anticipation to know if my belly is pink or blue.

1/8/07  
Blogger Robin said...

After everything we went through and with having placenta previa, I didn't want anymore surprises so we found out.

1/8/07  
Blogger Binky said...

Mony, I totally understand waiting to find out, but I just couldn't resist. To be honest, if I could find out what color eyes she will have, and whether she will be left or right handed, and what her favorite foods will be, I would. I have a burning desire to find out who this little passenger of mine IS, what's she's like, who she's going to be. I know I'll find out in due time, but I'm too excited to wait.

And also, my maternal instincts turned out to be shit. I was SURE she was a boy. SDER.

Glad to hear things are going well. I'm excited for you.

1/8/07  
Blogger Sara said...

I chose to wait too. It's driving other people crazy, but it doesn't bother me a bit. This is very strange to me, since I'm normally an information freak, so voluntarily passing up the chance to obtain more information is not at all like me. However, I honestly have no desire to know yet. I do think it's probably a post-IVF thing (preserving the last shred of mystery left in the process), but I don't care. It's what I want.

1/8/07  
Blogger Regina said...

hi again,

I would definitely want to know. But I have always been the no surprise kind of person. If we make it to 18-20 wks, i have to find out :-) good luck too you.. and beetroot...hmm.. maybe in a few months :-) best,
regina

1/8/07  
Blogger LL said...

I didn't want to know. I was keen on having a girl, but was absolutely convinced I was having a boy... was very, very surprised we had a girl.
I was also surprised about the amount of people who were convinced that we knew what we were having and were just not telling...
My favorite comment from a client was that I was having a boy, because I apparently "looked radiant and girls drain beauty from their mother" ?????

1/8/07  
Blogger Delenn said...

My husband and I did not know if we wanted to know or not. We did know what name we were going to have for a boy, and we were having troubles with a girl's name. When we were asked at the ultrasound if we wanted to know--we did rock paper scissors and decided to say "YES!". So, we knew it was a boy, which actually made us feel less pressure about the names. We chose not to tell others unless they asked, and just asked for neutral colors for baby stuff.

It is so funny how many different ideas people have concerning how to tell the sex...good luck!


Thanks for the good luck comment at my blog, BTW.

1/8/07  
Blogger The Oneliner (Christina) said...

unless we are blessed with twins, i don't want to know either. i think.
i agree with topcat, i feel like it's one of the only surprises left with IF.
for some reason, i feel like it is the one thing that IF hasn't taken from us.
and i don't plan painting the nursery pink or blue, so there's no real need to know.
I say WAIT. But, if you find out you better tell us!

1/8/07  
Blogger Cibele said...

I can't even image waiting... Glad to hear that you and Hef are doing good

3/8/07  

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