Mrs Negative

Mrs Negative embraces her tardy Positive. Life after IVF and loving the son I never thought I'd have.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Bad Nurse.

Cooper is 2 weeks old today.
It hasn't passed quickly. It feels like an eternity since he arrived. Maybe the trips to the NICU are getting me down. Maybe.

The staff who work with Cooper are amazing. Men & Women who exude care, love & professionalism. They coo at the babies, they talk to the parents with concern & respect & they leave me full of amazement & confidence that Cooper is getting all the care he needs while I am not there. They handle the babies with such ease & flair, I marvel at it. They pick the babes up with a technique I call "The Clamp". They put a hand around the head & a hand on the buttocks & clamp down, raising Cooper out of the cot with one felled movement. I struggle to even re-position Cooper on my chest for fear of breaking him & also because there is barely enough flesh to grip onto.

However, I encountered my first asshole nurse this week. And I seriously wanted to scissor kick her in the head. Only my fresh c-section wound stopped me.
She spoke to me like I was 5 years old & so started a condescending tirade of advice & nitpicking that really spoiled my visit.
Here is a list of the things that I did unto her liking:

I put my handbag in the wrong place.
I wore a watch.
I folded his nappy wrong.
I didn't wash my hands enough.
I didn't use the rubbish bin correctly.
I wiped his eyes wrong.
I fed him wrong.
I hadn't signed up to feeding classes (never knew about them)
I didn't hold his feet right when changing nappy.
I didn't hold his legs right when wiping.
I used alcohol to clean my hands (they provide it)
I refused to have his booties on.

etc, etc, etc.

Sheesh bitch. How will Cooper ever survive when I bring him home on my own? The thing that really upset me was her tone & the way she veiled all the negative comments with an air of superiority. I know that she knows a whole lot more about newborns than me....but I feel she wasn't "teaching" me rather she was suffocating my confidence.

She then changed Cooper's feeding tube (which I HATE seeing) it makes him cry & pointed out that the last nurse pushed his tube too far down his nose, probably causing him discomfort. Thanks, really wanted to know that.

Barbara, you're a dog. Probably very good at what you do, but a first class asshat. I hope you never look after my son again.


Blogger singletracey said...

Oh No.... I pray for Cooper to get home soon where mommie will take the best care of him. Changing nappies ... I never knew there was a specific way to hold their feet. What happens when they start kicking.. should you tie them down! JEEPERS!!

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are doing a fantastic job. It will all be over soon and Cooper will be home with you.

Blogger Mony said...

Tracey I need to be invited in to read your blog. Can't access it *bawl* anymore!
If anyone else reads babysteps can you leave a comment for me & let her know I need the password.

Blogger Mony said...

Ignore that last comment...d'oh. I got to baby steps with a bit more delving.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

ridiculous. experienced or not, your son recognizes and loves your voice and touch. not barbara's. she can take her nit-picky ms superiority advice and shove it. cooper does NOT need her around.

Blogger Robin said...

Wow! What a bitch!!!!!! You want me to come kick her ass!! You are a wonderful mother and your boy is so lucky to have you as his mother and everybody knows it!!!

Blogger The Dunn Family said...

i'm sorry for the bad experience. Like you said, regardless of her horrible bedside manner with you, she is going to take good care of your son. Hopefully he will come home soon, and you will be the amazing mama taking care of him 24/7. No new mom knows what they are doing. It's a learning experience from now until, well, forever!

Blogger PCOSMama said...

I hate people like that! As if you aren't emotional and concerned enough without her nit-picking on everything. I mean, you've only been doing this for 2 weeks, wouldn't you think someone would have pointed it out if you were doing something wrong? Just because you aren't doing something her way doesn't mean it's the wrong way.
Seriously, how are you supposed to hold his feet and legs? I just grab both ankles/feet in my hand and raise them towards the tummy until the butt is nice and exposed. Is that not right?

Is there any way you can request that this nurse not work with your son? I imagine there are several nurses there at a time... maybe you could talk to a supervisor about it. Definitely if it happens again - you don't need that!

Thanks for all the updates by the way. I know you have your hands full right now and it's wonderful that you think of us!

Blogger Sitting in Silence said...

Oh Mony....What a terrible experience.
I hate to admit this (being a Nurse and all)...(Hold your fire)!

But there is always one in the crowd.....and dont they just shit the leaving hell outta you...

If she bothers you enough,you also have the chance of reporting her to the Nurse Unit Manager (There is one on every floor).

Trust me...if she is like this to you..... she has heard it all before....
Nurses like this need an oil change for less of a better word every so often....nothing like a reality check to brush up on patient communication skills.....

All that aside, you are doing a wonderful job under incredible are a strong woman Mony....sending you my love and strength...xoxoxox.

Blogger Von said...

You always get one that just can't help themselves. What a bitch.
I am certain you are doing an excellent job with Cooper. Pay no need to her.

Blogger topcat said...

I hate Barbara. I bet she has no kids.

Ouchies with the caesar scar, my lovely. It's a battle wound, which you can now wear with pride.

Hugs to you Mony, I can't wait for Cooper to be home. xoxoxoxo

Blogger Geohde said...

What a total b!tch.


Should remind her that he's YOUR son, not her property.

Vicariously angry here,


Blogger The Oneliner (Christina) said...

what a winch! i say speak to her superior. they work for you and are getting paid $$$$$$.

and, i promise you, and you probably know, that that had NOTHING to do with you. She is just bringing something crappy from her personal life to work and throwing it on you.

if speaking to her superior doesn't work...i say slap her!

Blogger Amy Bland said...

Hi there,
Long time silent blog reader and NICU nurse from Melb here!

Congrats on baby Cooper btw.

You are perfectly right to be upset and please know that 99.9% of NICU nurses are lovely and do a great job, but pretty much every hospital you go to has one that make us all look bad! You will probably find that other parents have complained about her also, so ask if you can speak to the nurse unit manager and put in a complaint. Its not good enough that she made you feel this way! Grrr!

Just for the record too (just to show you how you should be treated by a nice nurse).....

I put my handbag in the wrong place(well she should show you where a good place to put it is)

I wore a watch(at my hospital, on day one we ask visitors to the nursery not to wear a watch or any jewellery in fact due to infection control, however, if someone forgets, we just ask nicely :-) )

I folded his nappy wrong (hey, who uses cloth nappies anymore anyhow? Cloth nappies are soooo yesterday!).

I didn't wash my hands enough (again, if its a huge issue, just ask nicely!)

I didn't use the rubbish bin correctly (what the?!?! I didnt know rubbish bins came with instructions these days?)

I wiped his eyes wrong (????How do you even do that???).

I fed him wrong (If he is being tube fed, she should be supervising you and him 100% of the time anyway for safety reasons in case the tube has any problems, in which case she should show you the right way!)

I hadn't signed up to feeding classes (never knew about them)

I didn't hold his feet right when changing nappy (there is no right way except for up off the bed so you can get to his bum!).

I didn't hold his legs right when wiping (as above).

I used alcohol to clean my hands (they provide it) The pump bottle hand cleaners are actually better for hand hygiene as most people dont wash their hands properly anyway. We only wash our hands at the sink if they are visibly dirty, otherwise we use hand alcohol 99% of the time)

I refused to have his booties on (he is your baby! Duh!).

Anonymous Meg said...

Hi Mony - It's been a while since I dropped in here, and wow, little bubs has been born!

I just wanted to say congratulations. It's a hard road with a premmie - Jasper was born 33 weeks, but it's amazing how they catch up - he is now in the 8oth percentile for his corrected age. The time he spent in NICU and SCN seems like a surreal and horrible dream now he is 8 months old.

Good luck with the pumping. A tip: buy a lactina off ebay - it is heaps cheaper than renting. I wound up having to pump long-term and I wish I'd done it sooner.

Blogger Gemini Girl said...

MOny- I now know a thing or two about nurses. Today my nurse made me cry. Just remember- this is for a short time. I would have said something to her directly. Some people need to be put in their place in order to respect you. Its sad- but what can you do? Hang in there and happy 2 weeks to the little one.

Blogger Mrs G said...

That is crazy - of course she has had more experience than you (more than nearly ALL new Mums), but Cooper needs you more than anyone in the world right now (reagrdless of how you hold his legs when changing his nappy!).

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Barbara is a bitch. I'll come and kick her in the face for you. How dare she make you feel insecure.

Anonymous Jenne said...

I too am a silent reader, and a NICU nurse from Canada. I'm very sorry that you had a rough time with that nurse. If I bond with a particular family at work I request to be their primary nurse. That means anytime I'm working I will have that baby. You can ask one of the nicer nurses if have anything similar for your family. Rather than focusing on who you don't want, focus on who you get along with. Nurses will naturally stick together, and you don't want to complain about one nurse to another nurse.
This time in the nursery is almost over, and then you will have your baby all to yourself.

Blogger Infertili-Me said...

I am right there with you. Our little ones are at a "teaching" hospital and so once in awhile, we have idiots taking care of them. Three days ago, they changed Melissa's feeding schedule without notifing me (I drive 45 min weach way to see my little ones) and our girl had already been fed. WTF?

Then, yesterday, idiot nurse only put their diapers on half way. My children decided to poop all over their brand new Halowwen outfits. How nice.

I have told the nurse manager that I no longer wish to have anyone who has less than one year on the job even touch my children.....

I'm ready to kick some nursey ass too!!!


Anonymous Kay said...

Ha!!! I agree wih TopCat!!! I hate Barbara too!!!

Did you give her a piece of your mind hun??? I would love to see her take on Peter!!! Or Nanny Margie...Or me for that matter!!!

There's always one - isn't there? Fucking bitch...

I hope Coops pisses on her next time she is changing his nappy so fucking efficiently!!!

Kay xox

Blogger Mony said...

I hope Peter does meet her.
We both know she will have met her match then. PEC will have her skulking away in a heartbeat. The benefit of having a Scorpio husband.....he will take shit off no man, woman or beast. Babs I DARE YOU!

Blogger Ali said...

What a douche.

Pay no mind to idiots like that - you are a wonderful mother.

Blogger Dream Mommy said...

I ran into a lot of negative nurses in the NICU with Princess. It was like all their attitudes were so poor and they had no hope for her recovery. I called after she was sheduled to have her ventilator removed to see how she was doing and the nurse actually told me: "she's holding her own right now, but it took her almost 48 hours before she pooped out last time!" I was so upset I called after shift change just to get another nurse.

Blogger Drew said...

Hey there MUMMY
Sorry I have completely missed your most fabulous news - birth of Cooper. I have been thinking about you (I have stopped blogging because apparently there is no time for it lately since Poopee starts waking up about sixty thousand times per night), and obviously didn't expect the early birth of Hef! So glad everything went well and he is gorgeous. Very happy for you both.

And regarding that nurse Barbs, she sure sounds like a dog. Somebody (in case you haven't already) needs to tell her to fuck off.

Happy happy happy for you mate.

Lv, Drew


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