Sleep, not.

Oh, Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.


Shall we come clean and tell the internets that although you are indeed, beautiful...you are a turd when it comes to sleeping?
Will you not nap for an hour?
There's a good boy.
How about 35 minutes? No? Won't you even consider it? No? Absolutely not. If daytime sleeping is not your thing then will you not revel in the delicious-ness of a full night's sleep?
Would you let me tell you again how grand it would be for us both if you ditched the 3 hourly wail/feed-a-thon?
Shall I remind you that there's nothing to see at 3.00am except a shift worker returning home or bad info-mercials?
Why must you insist on exploring 3.00am?
Ditto 4.15am.
5.00am is no more exciting.
Believe me, I've been there plenty & it's a cold, desperate place.
Even with a hotdog.
Why do you wake? Is the soft glow of your night light too infuriating? Is your snuggle bed too cosy? Are your crisp sheets too comfortable? Is the lull of your music box too much to bear?
Come now child. You are 5 months old now. Surely big enough to shut-eye a full 10 hours?

Sigh. I'm not perfect, he's not perfect either (damn close) I am reading a self help book about crying/sleeping etc. We are both learning lots. Mostly techniques that bring us both to tears. There is still a long way to go. I know we can conquer this Cooper! Now stop roaring. Mummy's reading Chapter's 7 & 8...again. This time with her gritty eyes propped open with matchsticks.

Blown

I blew out 36 Birthday candles yesterday. I don't mind getting older. I guess I still feel very young, well let's face it, 36 is hardly ancient! My birthday was lovely, it included a WRAPPED present from Peter..very rare! I had lunch & dinner with family and I got a "Mum Mug" from Cooper that say's "I Love You Mum!" how sweet!
Happy Easter everyone! Here is a picture of my little egg head. The raspberry blowing 5 month old. OMG he is so delicious, he blows raspberries constantly, even from behind his dummy & bottle....it is an absolute hoot!
Thank you to everyone who comments on how beautiful my son is! I just love to hear that you all think he's as gorgeous as I do!

Crackers.

Christmas 1977, Santa bought me an Anne Murray cassette called "There's A Hippo In The Bathtub". I adored every song on it & remember belting out the words to "Animal Crackers" and "Teddy Bear's Picnic" with sheer glee. I found it in a drawer the other day & have been playing it for Cooper. It's still fun to listen to 31 years later. My duets with Anne are proving marvellous for lulling Cooper off for his daytime naps. Unfortunately, some of the sweet lullaby's make me sooooo damn emotional! Cradling my beautiful, tired boy...I end up bawling through the chorus of "Sleepy Time Baby" and ruining the tranquility.

Mental note to self: Rocking your son to sleep is more successful if he doesn't have fat, wet, sooky Mama tears splashing onto his cheeks!

Miss M

Check out my niece. OMG. I love her! This kid has spunk. Her hairdo is very fitting of her personality. A wee bit wild.

Belonging.

I can't quite explain how it feels to finally be a mother. Even to myself. It's so much broader than I ever imagined. Of course, I knew that being a mother meant having a child, but I never thought about all the...moments. The hundreds of tiny moments that combine together and create a day. Wiping his face. Putting on socks. Bathing him, clinging onto slippery arms as he thrashes, splashing suds into his own face. Announcing to no-one in particular "Oh, he's tired" or assuring Cooper that "I'm coming, just a minute" as he bellows from his crib.
I feel more important than ever before.
I feel more normal than ever before.
I feel like I finally belong.
And it is a feeling renewed everyday.