Licence To Exhibit Woe
Annually I undertake a pilgrimage that strikes me down with dread & vexation.
Renewing my Drivers Licence at RTA.
The RTA experience rarely changes. Upon entering the building you survey the hoardes of irritated civilians and sigh, heavily. You take a number & shuffle to the far end of the open planned hell hole. You have 2 seating options. There's a vacant seat next to a hairy fellow sporting a grimy singlet OR one between a surly lass and her wild offspring. You stare as her cherubs scale the information stands & snatch handfuls of glossy leaflets before laying on the carpet and rolling the length of the room.
I decide to stand.
And the wait begins.
With a new licence comes a wonderful opportunity to have your picture taken by a highly untrained photographer. No matter how hard you to try to smile & appear human, your new ID will transform you into a unimpressed ghoul. I gave up brushing my hair & applying make up prior to licence photo years ago. It's in vain. Last year I turned up sporting a cap. When I was asked to remove the hat I imagined how gorgeous my slicked hair must look. True to form my ID made me look like a unimpressed ghoul with a drug problem and hat head.
It is customary to leave the building, blood draining from your face as you study your new fugly picture. You hope you can get through 12 months without having to show it to anyone.
And each year I think the same thing. Please let me be pregnant before my licence is up for renewal next year. Please.
I might still look ghoulish but am certain I will appear profoundly more impressed.